If I want to adopt my cousin...what do I do?

The long and the short of it (from someone who's btdt): you have two options. 1) you convince the parents to give up their rights and allow you to adopt 2) you report the parents and let the DCYF process move forward. If the mom is overwhelmed in prison and fighting with the dad, she MIGHT be pursuaded to do a domestic adoption. if, however, she doesn't know you and has no trust relationship with you, this seems unlikely The dcyf route is more likely in your case. You can certainly report what you know or have witnessed. they will not listen to 3rd party rumors. You need to know things first hand OR encourage the people who have witnessed the neglect to report. You may be surprised at the requirements for relinquishment. They will not pull a child simply because their parent is immature, ignoring them, or aren't equipt to parent. They will not pull a child because they are "not good" for the child (what kind of person feels the right to make that judgement, btw?? i'm refering to who told the op that, not OP.) If the complaints are substantiated and rise to the level of intervention, unless the child is in imminent danger, they will not be pulled immedately. the parent will be given the opportunity to parent.. to work a plan. If the child is in immediate danger, the child will be pulled and placed in a foster home.. with strangers until the cw can approve a family member. they won't place the child with you simply because you offer. If you wish to reduce the delay in getting the child, you need to be a licensed, preapproved foster home in the state where the child resides. This can take a couple months, so you should get signed up asap. But, quite honestly, unless you change your views, I doubt they would select you for the temporary home. DCYF pushes for reunification as a first goal. Open adoption by family member as second goal. If you strongly voice your opinion to cut the BM out of the picture from the beginning, they will likely go with another family, even if its a stranger/non-relative. Since you are an experienced parent, it seems you can do the most good by mentoring your cousin.. help him learn some parenting skills. good luck