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I have raised my fiance's daughter since she was a month and a half old. He had taken his daughter from her birth mother because she drank while pregnant and soon discovered she was drinking while breastfeeding (she openly admitted to both claims in custody mediation) and refused to quit, which gave him reason to believe his baby's life was in danger.
The birth mother has kept communication with the father at a bare minimum, disappeared for 6 weeks with no contact at all, and does not keep stable communication with the father. When we moved across the country, she signed the papers giving consent to take the child with us, but when the father asked her to give up her rights she simply said no. The mother does not and has never has paid child support, but the father and i are able to provide for her without it. Is this acceptable in the state of CA or is this considered reasonable evidence to prove her an unfit mother? Seeing as I have fully supported this child for the last eleven months of her 1 year being alive, I would very much like to adopt her, as she already calls me momma and we have a definite emotional attachment to one another. I have spent 99% of my time looking after her, feeding her, taking care of her. Although she is not *my* child, I consider her my daughter and honestly speaking, if the adoption petition is denied i will not love her any less.
The father and i are a young couple who are getting married and have lived together since before she was born. I understand that the adoption process is a bit daunting if you don't know where to even begin, but I am hoping that I can gain some insight as to what to do. Right now I would just appreciate any advice, so I can gather information and hopefully get started with the paperwork and get the wheels in motion.
Once again, Any advice is greatly appreciated!
**Also: I hope that I didn't come off as disrespectful to the birth mother, I am in no way trying to bash her or make false accusations. I am purely stating what has happened over the course of the last year.
:thanks:
[url=http://www.saclaw.lib.ca.us/pages/termination-parental-rights.aspx]Termination of Parental Rights[/url]
the relevant section is
In Family Court Stepparent or Domestic Partner Adoption proceedings. Termination is with the consent of the non-custodial parent, or without their consent if the court finds that the parent has willfully abandoned the child.
it seems you need a consultation with a CA lawyer versed in family law. Once you find out how long before you can file, it seems like you just would need to wait it out
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My sister (who also lives in California) was able to terminate the rights of her child's father based on abandonment. Her lawyer told her that the criteria in California is that the absent parent must have paid NO child support AND had NO contact for at least a year. He still had to be served with paperwork and given the opportunity to show up in court to contest it (he didn't show); however, the lawyer said he had little chance of winning if he did contest it since he had been totally absent from the child's life for 3 years.
I think your problem may be that the birth mother has kept minimal contact with the father over the past 11 months so it may not be considered abandonment. And even if it is considered abandonment, one year is not such a long period of time so the judge may give her a second chance if she were to contest it. I would suggest you speak to a good family law attorney to see if anything can be done. Maybe you could sue her for child support to encourage her to sign her rights away willingly. Or just serve her with adoption papers and hope she doesn't contest it and then you could win by default. I good lawyer will be able to advise you on all the possibilities.
My sister was also told that she had to be married to her new husband for a year before he could do a step-parent adoption, so you might have to wait until a year after you're married. I'm not sure if the time you spent living together pre-marriage counts.
Most of this is going to confirm what JackieN already told you...
My husband was able to adopt our children using a step-parent adoption, our attorney also used the abandonment code. We were told there had to have been no contact at all for at least a year, we were told however that did NOT include child support (since this can be garnished or HAS to be given by law) but it did include birthday cards, letters, phone calls and any other forms of communication (given by choice). My ex had to be served much like any other court proceeding and we also had to have something published in the local newspaper. In the true nature of my ex he contested but knowing he had NO chance didn't actually show the day of court. True nature of the beast!
I know your fiance's ex is still around somewhat so your situation is different, so I would definitely consult with an attorney. I think it could still be done I just think it may be a lot harder with a lot more court proceedings.
However I will tell you that long before my husband had even proposed he had asked if he could adopt my children, so it wasn't long after we had actually tied the knot that we went in to speak with an attorney. It was at that point we were told that in CA it is near impossible to adopt in these situations until you have been married for at LEAST a year so you may want to wait until that time before you take any action. BUT again, it still wouldn't hurt to get a consult at this point. He/she may have some other pointers for you as to what you can do/document that might help your case in the future.
Best of luck hun, I know it's hard to love a child like your own but to be told they're not :(