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I think you need to walk away. This child is in a loving home and the foster parents are the only parents she knows. She is bonded to them in a way she is not bonded to you. It is in her best interest to stay with them.
Sure, you're a relative (a fairly distant one), but blood should never overrule the bond a child has with the family who has raised her 2/3 of her life. Would it be nice to grow up with biological siblings? Sure. It would also just be nice to grow up knowing your biological siblings which she can have either way.
I'm sure the foster parents are on the defensive. I sure would be if someone was fighting to take away the child I had raised for two years. I would know it was not in her best interest to have that bond broken. As for the funeral... Who drags a two year old to a funeral anyway? It isn't like she is going to understand. My son is four now and I wouldn't take him to a funeral.
I would sit down and talk with the foster parents. Explain that you will let them adopt the child, but would like an open relationship between her and her siblings and pictures and updates. That is what is in her best interest.