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Hi,
My husbands cousin is about to lose all parental rights, we are interested in adopting her son. The problem we are running into is that he has been in a foster home, in a foster to adopt situation and they are stonewalling us as to how we can start to proceed in to putting a valid say in for him. We were not made aware of the situation at the time and we live in Virginia and he is in California. I have heard of other cases where someone from the family has stepped forward and they were given priority (to keep the child in the family). Any have any suggestions, thoughts, helpful hints for us? We want what is best for this child (which may be to stay where he is) but we aren't being allowed much of a chance. Thanks!
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This is a tough situation and I am sorry you are in it. I am in California and I know that many California counties make it very tough on biological relatives, especially those who live out of state, to get placement of a child. This is because the state puts a strong emphasis on getting permanence quickly and doesn't like to move children once they are placed in a foster-to-adopt home except to RU with birth parents. For example, I've been told by my children's caseworkers that in my county:
1) Foster parents are considered equal to biological relatives (except birth parents) after having a foster child for 6 months or longer.
2) Only relatives who are initially listed on a relative list provided by the birth parents are contacted and after the child is placed in a foster-to-adopt home, it is very difficult for any relatives not listed or who were originally unreachable or declined placement to be considered.
3) Out-of-state relatives will often not even be considered because of the length of time it takes to move a child across state lines (must have ICPC and that can't even begin until the goal is TPR) unless there is a strong pre-existing bond between the relative and child.
I'm not telling you this to discourage you. I just think you should know the obstacles that may be hindering your progress. I would suggest you speak to a good family law attorney who practices in the county handling the child's case.
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How long has the child been in care?
If you aren't being heard by CW, I'd start going up the chain to supervisors.
hard question: are you driven to keep the child routed to their family? Or because you were looking to adopt and this opportunity popped up?
Honestly, in my case, it was both.. but my case was different because there was no place for DD to go; no other foster family, outside our family. had she been fully bonded and settled in another family, I may have acted differently
If the baby has been with the PAPs for 6 months or more, it may be an uphill battle.
Can you request visitation?
If TPR is pending and DCYF is refusing to consider you, I'd get a lawyer