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Millie,
Things can get complicated when you are talking relative adoptions. I WAS "W" to DD long before I was "mom". We have multi-generational cousins. The (larger) family norm is cousins are on a first name basis.
So, while I COULD enforce a prefix when she moved into my house, this would be akin to me forcing her to call me mom. It was the change that she was resiting (in my case), not the word itself.
I get this is very different from the typical adoption form foster case.. just wanted to throw it out there