Facebook and adoption

This is tough. I am ok with J's other family posting pictures taken when she was with them. I'm not ok with them posting current pictures (there's a pedophile and other problematic people). Now, that said, half of her "other family" is also my family. I'm irritated as heck when my cousin steals pictures and uses them as his avatar on fb. his page, at a quick glance, implies J still lives with him. However, in order to keep the peace so we have access to J's brother, i suck it up. He's a bit unstable and the back lash could hurt J. But, then again, if he was stable, she might not be with so... argh there are no easy answers