Food Issues

You might get more of a response either under general adopted parents of special needs. Hoarding/binging of food is a huge issue for some kids in US foster care system. There are several threads on the forum where people suggest providing endless "healthy" snacks. some have a bowl; some have a drawer. Food is fruit, crackers, fruit roll ups, maybe cereal Whenever they are hungry, they know they can have anything in the healthy snack area For the opposite problem (picky eaters), having them help cook does help. When DD was 5, there was little she WOULD eat. At that age, food is one for the few things they have control over. It becomes much more than simply about one meal. Since this was also when J's life was completely out of her control, I worked within the limits. We have fresh broccoli almost every day. I'd introduce new things slowly. i wouldn't force them on her, but i'd eat them ans ask if she wanted to try them. had I forced her to try things, it would have been a disaster. also hot lunch at school was a big help. When all her peers were eating something, she'd be more likely to try it herself 2 years later, we've greatly expanded what she will eat. hang in there!

It is very normal for your newly adopted son to crave food, and the cravings could last six months or more. First off, your son probably experienced shortages of food. He is going to gobble everything in sight today, because he isn't confident that there will be more available tomorrow. And, in fact, he may also be gobbling because his body NEEDS certain nutrients, which have been lacking in his diet. Also, many institutionalized children associate food with love and family. He wants to know that you will love him forever, and the way his mind processes that is to ask for food. If you love him, he thinks, you will give it to him. Eating is also a self-soothing mechanism. These are scary times for your son. He's grieving the loss of birthparents and favorite caregivers. He's not sure that you will love him unconditionally. He isn't sure of what's expected of him. He doesn't understand everything that you say to him, and you often don't understand what he is trying to say. I've known many kids, including a friend of my daughter, who spent much of the first few months eating while other kids played, because they simply couldn't cope. Personally, I wouldn't worry about it. Your child will learn to self-regulate. Serve three normal meals and three scheduled snacks per day, but let your son eat as much as he wants to at each meal. Start with a small to medium sized serving of food, and if he eats it all and demands seconds, great. Give him another small to medium sized serving. You may be shocked by how much food he packs in -- some of these kids eat like Sumo wrestlers -- but as long as he doesn't throw up, he's OK. If your son asks for food between meals and scheduled snacks, fine. Take one of the low cabinets in your kitchen and tell him that it is his. Fill it with healthy snacks that do not require refrigeration, like crackers, raisins, Cheerios, shelf-stable single serve containers of fruit salad, and so on. In the beginning, he may try to eat everything in the cabinet in a day, but if you keep it well stocked, he'll soon learn that he doesn't need to be afraid that food will go away. Do expect that your son may try to hoard food. Do a check of his room every day; you may find slices of bread under the bed, boxes of raisins under the pillow, and so on. If you don't check frequently, you'll get ants, drawn by the food. Take your son to the supermarket with you a few times. Let him see that there is a lot of food there, and that even if you run out of something at home, you can always go to the supermarket for more. Of course, do have your doctor do a thorough exam of your son. There could be issues that contribute to the constant need to eat. As an example, intestinal parasites like Giardia rob a person of nutrients. If your son has Giardia, he could well be craving food because he's actually not getting enough nutrients. But in most cases, the doctor will tell you that your son is NOT going to "get fat" from all the eating he's doing now, and he won't develop terrible food habits. In time, once he feels comfortable in his new home, he will slow down and begin to turn down extra servings. In fact, his picky side may become quite pronounced, especially if you make an issue of it. Sharon

Thank you for the replies :) We were having a really rough morning when I posted earlier. I know it's normal, and I completely expected it...dealing with it is a different story though. I agree it's a mixture of never having food options and eating as a coping mechanism. I just was nervous about allowing him to eat on demand because I don't want him to make himself sick (and because he doesn't want to eat anything remotely "healthy," just snack foods)...but if that's the only way he'll learn when he's full, I suppose it's the only way.

My son was 5 when we adopted him too (foster care) and he was a binge eater for sure. Would eat and eat and eat at every meal as well as just being hungry at all times. We did a lot of the things Sak has mentioned but mainly we just didn't make this a battle. One "trick" I did do for meal times at the table was to serve up the plates in the kitchen so I could control the portions a bit better. He could have 5 servings if he wanted, but I gave him smaller portions to help him not get sick and learn to register when he really was full. Having all the food on the table overwhelmed him to where he felt like he HAD to eat everything in sight or it would just disappear. So having the food out of sight at meal times and just what he had on his plate, plus the salad seemed to help. Edited to add: He's 14 now and eats like a horse but he's 14. lol! Can moderate his food, isn't starving, and eats like any other hungry bottomless pit teenager.;)