frustrated scared...single mom

I totally know where you are coming from. I was on the verge of giving my son up for adoption. he is three going on four in september. the counselor said that it would be traumatic for him and i was guilted into trying harder to work something out. children are so attached to parents no matter how bad of parents we think we are. everyday it seems i replay in my mind how i was convinced to keep my son and not adopt him out from the get go. i knew my mental health and marijuana issues would wreak havoc on his life in the first several years, but i kept him. i recently was on the news for putting up a website to find a family support to care for him until my baby comes and i get accustomed to caring for the newborn. i didnt want to totally give him up for adoption and cps and other adpoption agencies didnt have any answers at the time, not until the website was posted. point is you have the weigh your options. i know how it is not to have the father there. mines comes a goes. no w i am on my second illegitimate child and that father is not in the picture much either. he promises to be when the baby comes but he is not supportive of me. they say we can get thru it and receive that reward and i believe them but my faith isnt strong enough. yes i will keep my son because now my family was forced to face the fact that i wasnt bull crapping and need help but im still an emotional wreck. i guess im just here to say i support you and you can dump on me anytime. i can only listen but i know exactly where you are coming from and im sorry you are going through it alone.