In search of something else. Do i go my own path as a bm??

I personally dont even know what i want to say or how to say it. Im on this site now looking for maybe a different agency? or maybe looking for the adoptive parents myself i have no clue really. My son was dopted to a wonderful couple in 2010. I adore them but dont want to go through the company i did again. I felt deserted after he was born. I dont need or deserve accolades for what i did i just wanted someone to talk to. i dont know :( . so anywho im in my 12th week so i have alot of time to figure out how i want this adoption proccess to go....any advice?:coffee: