Issues with birth mother

I am the birth father to a wonderful 14 year old girl. Her story starts like this. While in my first year of college, I met this girl. We ended up getting pregnant. From the start we always considered adoption for the baby. However, we also intended to stay together as a couple. At the time, I was dealing with a host of mental illness issues. About 5 months into the process, I ended up in the hospital with a mental breakdown. Being the fantastic support of a boyfriend I was at the time, I asked her if we could proceed as friends rather than as a couple. I thought I could handle it better like that. She agreed and stated she only wanted what was best for me. A few months later she went home (to a different state) for the summer. I started to pull away from the situation even more. I ended up visiting her that summer so we could square away some adoption plans. Unfortunately, I made the choice to spend nearly all of my time in their basement, avoiding most any contact with the family. When I left, her mother was quite unhappy with me. About a week later, she and I were talking on the phone when the topic of love was brought up. My mental state was pretty fragile at the time and I wasn't able to handle the conversation. I ended up hanging up on her, she panicked and went into the hospital. They feared she would lose the baby as a result. Thankfully she did not. Her parents instructed her never to talk to me again. I don't blame them. I would have said the same thing to my daughter. Eventually, that baby, my daughter, found out she is adopted. The mother has always lived close by the adoptive family and has taken part in our daughter's life. I live several states away. I also wallowed in shame and guilt for many years because of how I handled the situation. The birth mother ended up contacting me on and off through the years. It usually ends with her pulling away from me without any notice. I really don't blame her. I caused her a lot of pain. About three and a half years ago, my daughter wrote me a letter. From that point, we started emailing, texting and calling. It was amazing. We even met in person for a few days. Had my heart been able to, it would have exploded. During that period, out of nowhere, the birth mother finds me on Facebook. We start talking. The conversation is amicable. We would joke about old times, often ignoring the bad. She started a blog and I was one of the few people she invited to read it. About two years ago, the birth mother lost a close friend in a car accident. Distraught and realizing how fragile life is, she wrote me a message on Facebook stating that, even though I never asked for forgiveness (I've apologized many, many times), she forgives me and wants to move on. It was a treasure to be back in her life again on good terms. For at least a decade, I wallowed in self-pity over how I treated her. Now I could finally redeem myself in her eyes and we could jointly be available to our birth daughter. Two months ago, my daughter came to visit me, alone, for the first time. Neither the daughter or I told the birth mother about the impending visit. I didn't tell her as it didn't seem important. We'd already discussed my getting to know our daughter and it didn't seem necessary to let her know. The daughter did not tell her because she operated under the assumption we did not get along. In her mind, she always had to keep us separate. I guess that is because neither the birth mother or I had intentionally talked to the daughter about our friendship. Anyway, the reunion went better than anyone could have ever expected. Many tears and "I love you's" were shared. She got to be with her five siblings (my wife and I have five kids). Simply put, it could not have gone better if I scripted it. Before the trip was over, my daughter asked me to talk to the birth mother about discussing me in the birth mother's presence. She didn't want to feel uncomfortable bring up the topic of me. I agreed, but told her it wasn't necessary as the birth mother and I got along just fine now. Well, I couldn't have been more wrong. My wife took some pictures of my daughter with her other siblings and posted it on Facebook. My name was tagged in those pictures so they appeared in her news feed. I guess the birth mother saw them and instantly became jealous and angry. I sent the birth mother a message over Facebook and waited for a response. About two days later I noticed I could no longer see her profile. My daughter asked me to call. So, I called...no response. I texted her...no response. She took down her blog when she realized I could still see it. I sent the birth mother one final text saying I will not try to contact her again. I feel just awful for our daughter. She now has to continue keeping us separate. On top of that, there is this cloud of fear where she has to make sure never to mention my name to the birth mother. My daughter and I have a fantastic relationship at this point. She knows about my past. She has forgiven me and accepts me for who I am. I no longer feel guilt over the past. I know what I did was wrong but I am not that person anymore. Unfortunately, the birth mother and her family chose to believe I am. Obviously I cannot change someone's mind. I wish there was something I could do to reach out to the birth mother. I have her address and phone number. At this point, though, it would be rather intrusive to continue pushing the matter. It seems, given the past, it would be best for me to wait, give her space and hope she comes around again. You might ask me why I want to connect with her again. I still care about her. It is not a romantic feeling. We have a daughter through whom we connect even if it is vacarious at best. Ever time I look at my daughter's face, I see the face of her birth mother. Most of all, I want my daughter to have peace. Please let me know your thoughts. I did not take the time to proof read this so please forgive any strange writing.