12 yr old w/major attitude

You may want to cross-post this thread over on the Special Needs board because a lot of the moms there are dealing with the same behavior you are in their foster-to-adopt kiddos. I'm sure that some of them will reach out to you once they see your thread. Do you know anything about reactive attachment disorder (RAD)? Kids who are affected by RAD often get along great with their dads but don't bond with their moms. A lot of the parents on the Special Needs board have experience with attachment therapy, which you may want to learn more about.