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Thread: Saying goodbye
Pinkneon,
is open or semi-open adoption not an option for you? this way you can send pictures/letters back and forth with the AP. even if the AP do not tell her until she is old even to understand, at least they can send you updates.
My son's adoption was closed (BM choice), but I still send letters/pictures to the agency such that if she ever wanted to know how he is doing, she has access. I told them this. I feel very strong about openness, because of what you are going thru now and later. Openness does not mean the child needs to know right now, it means that the Birthparents gets updates such that they are not wondering/worrying-unsure if the child they placed is ok and that their decision was the right one.
One profound thing my mother told me was:
the birthparents took off our shoulder the baggage of childlessness and placed on her shoulder grief/lost and consist worries/wondering. We can at least help them by providing updates, pictures and letters.
Much hugs to you for placing your baby's need first. Hold on to that...you did it because you love her more than anything! Kudos
Nana