Saying goodbye

You could not say "good bye" instead say "I will see you again later!" Because there is always a chance that even if it is a closed adoption she will look for you or you will look for her. See you again is so much less permanent. :-) I am so sorry that you are going to have to do this. I didn't keep little man at all, he went straight home from the hospital with his a family, but I would expect that you will be very very sad. There will probably be days when it is next to impossible for you to function. You might want to look into counseling, because it will probably help with grief and anger and anything else that comes up. There are going to be times when all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and take it day by day. If you guys have something special that you enjoy doing together, something that makes you guys happy...I would do that before you have to say see you later. You might also think about writing her a letter to give to the a parents that they can give to her, tell her that you love her today, tomorrow and yesterday, and that will never change. Also tell her what led you to a place where you decided that adoption is best for her. If any way possible you might see if you can have a few visits with the family after you place her, which will be emotionally devastating for you but might help her transition better. Just expect to feel lost and sad and tired after the visits. I cried all the way home after the first couple of visits but I would rather do that than not get to see him. And definitely vent, talk to whoever will listen and if no one will, come here and vent, it is better to do that than to try to hold it all in. I hope that things go well for you!