Older Child Adopt-Do they ever really love you?

My DD2 (aged 15) is very volatile in her language. I frequently get called names eg. You stupid ****ing b****, or "I've had lots of mums, and you are the worst of all, you are a s**t mum" and so on and so on. In her case, I know it's not because she's maliciously trying to hurt me, and she certainly loves me. I think when dealing with behaviours, you have to try to work out why they behave like that. In DD's case, she lives in a constantly stressed and fearful state. She's a little hedgehog - prickly on the outside, extremely vulnerable on the inside. She pushes me away before I can reject her. She's improved over the years mind you, and we are in therapy at an excellent centre which provide me with a wraparound support package as well as DD's therapy work. Until she begins living life in a less stressed state, and until her fear levels reduce, she won't stop her behaviour no matter what consequences are imposed. Negative consequences increase her stress levels if anything. Her former FP's tried consequences, but they wound up with DD exploding every day, and dealing with a lot more violence than I have dealt with in her. I don't just allow her to say as horrid thing as she likes, but I don't heap on punishments or negative consequences either...and I know my way has led to a more peaceful life, and led to DD being able to be more loving towards me in other waysWhichever way you deal with it, therapy and counselling is a good idea though. We couldn't live without DD's therapy or my counselling. A good therapy centre should give you counselling as well and recognise that you can't help a child without helping the parents as well