Older Child Adopt-Do they ever really love you?

I can't speak for older foster children on a big scale, but we did raise my husband's teenage sister, and I have children that are that age and I'd never allow them to talk to me like that. It does not matter that they have a hard life, being mean and rude isn't going to make their life any better and learning respect and self control is going to go a lot farther than being allowed to treat people like garbage just because they are sad or hurt or tired or whatever else.