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All I have is my mother's name and my father's supposed last name, and the towns they were from (and are no longer in)... Jennifer Maris (Short Hills area) and Monticello (Livingston, West Orange area). I do not know where to begin my search. Even tho I was adopted openly, there was no communication through my life. I have looked everywhere online, and found people of the right age group in the general location that fit to be my biological father's family, but not him specifically. I cannot find an ounce of information about my mother. I even paid for those detailed records, and found other previous places she lived, but all ending 2 years after I was born & adopted. Now, 20 years later (I'm 22.) I want to meet my birth parents, at least my mom, just to fill the void of not-knowing so many things. I live in New Jersey, and I do not know what agencies or avenues to try. Any help is much appreciated.
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I want to acknowledge your frustration, wanting to find your birthparents and finding so many dead ends! I know how hard that is because my story is similar. Interesting that we paid out a lot of money to those agencies and I'm not sure those people every knocked on anyone's doors to investigate further.I finally did find my birthfamily (birthmother had died). I had been googling her for years and came upon an article about someone that could be her. I googled who her relatives might be (from the article) and wrote a letter to a potential cousin. It turned out for the best for me, the cousin's mom (my aunt, birthmom's sister) was there and said "yes, that's Mary's girl", and we have been in reunion ever since. So my suggestion is that you start inquiring among the relatives that could know your birthfather (and hopefully open a door to your birthmother). It feels very scary to do that, but if you don't take a chance you will never know.
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I understand how you feel...mine was a closed adoption, and while I have never felt like a part of me was missing, I would love to have the oportunity to tell my bmom how I turned out. I too have the first name of both bmom and bdad, along with a surname...but I don't know whose the surname is...luckily I have narrowed my search down to a geographical area that I still believe my bmom to be in...but have dead ended at that point.
Good luck to you, I hope that something turns up for you soon...I agree with autumnleaves...try searching out relatives of your bdad and see if that can lead you to your bmom.