Birthmom Pregnant Again!

The "friend" that has 5 of the children has pushed to ensure all are labeled disabled to get a higher subsidy. Then because they have no "earned" income collect SSI also. To keep the SSI, they don't allow the children to excel in school. The children can only live up to their disability. Sad! It would be nice if it was in the best interest to keep siblings together. In this case, I don't believe so. I don't believe in sterilization. It's permanent & I don't want the govt going there. However, today's IUDs last 5 years, then a woman's case could be reevaluated. We are praying for the baby. I'm praying that BM is not encouraged to drink...

I'm just curious as to why you feel they are in it for the check? You seem so certain. Do you have something tape recorded or in writing that the family said they are in it for the check? Does the SW claim that? It just seems to me that is a huge accusation. (Not saying it isn't true, just curious as to the facts that you have to back that up) :) As for the earlier "she deserves to have her tubes tied" comment, I do not find that appropriate posting. This is not China for goodness sake! Tie her tubes is not respectful language on this forum, in my opinion. (I'm not the moderator, so just my personal opinion):o

When people are on drugs or alcohol,bring 8 children in to this world,that may be messed up,from drugs or alcohol.I see no problem with tying there tubes or having an IUDs put in them.Since they have a drug or alcohol problem,will they be resonsible,if something goes wrong with IUD?Or will they not notice the pain,because of the drugs?I also see nothing wrong with bringing it up.

i do. she brought 8 kids in drug addicted. maybe 8 is too many. how about 7, or 5 or 2 or 1? how about we look at all women who use drugs who are of childbearing age and just take the precaution of sterilizing them? how about we don't take the chance that people with mental illness reproduce? how about we look at those with low IQ? a little retro there-it happened in Germany a long time ago. no thanks. way too many problems with that. we cannot predict the outcome of a person's life. i know a family who lost 7 kids because of drug addiction. the 8th was also removed. 18 months later they were clean and sober, living a life of recovery. their daughter was returned. that was 4 years ago. they're still doing well. it can happen. and as angry as i get at the issues that my kids' mom caused them through her drug and alcohol use, i still don't believe forced sterilization is the answer. human rights. even addicts have them.

I agree with sterilization. Popping out 8 future members of society with mental issues and physical disabilities is a far harsher crime than stopping that woman after two or three kids. Once a child is in this world THEIR rights should come first. I have zero sympathy for someone who would hurt one of them. Let's be honest about one thing here. If the laws were applied as they should, most of these offenders would never see the outside of jail again, not out making more babies. So yes, in an ideal world we wouldn't need to think like this. But we FP's are on the front lines of their carnage.

i most certainly am on the front lines. i still disagree. yes, enforce the laws. absolutely protect the rights. of everyone.

forced sterilization didn't just happen in Germany a long time ago. Unfortunately it happened right here in the States not so long ago - to exactly the kinds of people that were mentioned, mentally ill, poor, low IQ, women who were thought to be promiscuous, women of color.It is unthinkable and unbelievable that this happened in the "land of the free". mho.

I prefer making them serve time for the deed of almost killing or physically damaging kids. Then they can't get pregnant anyways. No cognigal visits. All of my kids moms have deserved jail. But what about the dads? They are all on drugs too and impregnating ill women. Don't get me started on all the late term abortions my former kids mom had. I have yet to see a show court case where the kids take mom and dad to task for doing drugs while pregnAte with them..our society is strange. If you molest a kid we come after you. If you kill, drug, maim, negatively effect them and you Re the parent you get off Scott free. Blows my mind. I thi kids should be allowed to sue for damage in utero. But what do I know

I also agree with sterilization. If the drug addicts who use, use, use and want to keep having sex--- whatever! But if they knew ahead of time that forced sterilization would happen after they failed 3 times, maybe our states wouldn't all be broke! To everything else, there are consequences. And apparently if the consequences of "just" having your kids removed and then adopted out aren't painful enough to deter them, then maybe sterilization would be. For the slim cases where families clean up and regain one child back after losing the previous 7... good for them... but what about the 7 they lost? I wholeheartedly agree with the statement that adults in this situation have far more rights that their children. Their children have absolutely NO say in what happens. "Forcing" sterilization isn't really "forcing" anything. The adults still have a choice. Clean up, fly right or lose your kids and the ability to make more. Just like going to prison forever or the death penalty--- they still chose to do what it took to land them there.

The "friend" actually said, "We are going to get this baby & all it will cost us is a shiny new cell phone." This friend has not been discreet about her purpose for getting more children. She was wining & dining the BM at Golden Corral for this last child. Our poor BM is challenged & doesn't realize how she's being used.

Uh, what a horrid so called 'friend'. With that attitude, hopefully she won't get the baby, or birth mum will realise she is being used. How many siblings do you have, if you don't mind my asking? I strongly disagree with forcing sterilisation. It's open to all kinds of horrific abuses, and is a very violent act on the body. People's bodies are there own, and you cannot force surgery on them for any reason without consent. That's a fundamental human right.Two wrongs do not make a right either, they make a much bigger wrong. I also think it's a slippery slope, and if you start with one group of people, quickly you'll start hurting other groups and so on. My DD2 and DS mum now has her life back on track, and I feel if she were to have a baby in the next few year, she would be able to raise it well, with a little support. I am glad that my society treats her like a human being, and not a sub-human without rights. I would not choose to live in a society that did things like forced sterilisation.

The "friend has 5. We have Lil Bit #6. We were not able to take #7 for a number of reasons. Fortunately, he was placed in a loving home who fought to keep him from becoming a check for the "friend". We are in a better position to take #8 when it is born in the fall.

Guess I'm in the minority. Do we cut off wee-wee's of rapists and noses of life long cocaine-addicted drug dealers? no! Sorry, I'm pro-choice/pro-life. I believe that adoption is a wonderful choice. peace out.:hippie: Choose Adoption.;)

I'm not into the idea of forced sterilization either...but, I hate the thought of more kids being born addicted to drugs and having to (possibly) struggle with that for the rest of their lives on top of (possibly) having to deal with adoption issues if they have them. It just makes me sad to think about.

I hate the thought as well. it does make me frustrated and very sad :( But this forced sterilisation thing is an angry emotional response to it, that is neither just nor practical nor workable in any civilised society. Where would it end? I have a genetic defect, would I be sterilised because one accident or being raped could mean a baby with a terminal condition? These babies we are talking about do not actually exist, we are talking potential here. I, having one CF gene, have the potential to create a seriously ill child (well, not at my age, but years ago!), the same kind of potential as an alcoholic does to produce a child with FAS. Sterilisation is eugenics, and society never stops with one group of 'undesirable' people, they go on and attack other groups as well Anyway, back to the OP. If you are in a good position to take baby 8, fight for it. If baby 7 went to another carer, then surely baby 8 could as well...especially as you have a sibling