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BoysParent
Today I am attending the Team Decision Meeting for Little D (has been with us almost 3 weeks). We have met biomom for 1 visit and Aunt has had two visits. Biomom is a mess and just doesn't seem interested in getting custody of her son. The aunt actually seems pretty normal and we actually kind of like her. However, I suspect they BOTH are into smoking marijuana. We saw some tattoos that give this notion away.
I think this Aunt we met is the most likely person they will place Little D with. Does anyone know if the agency drug tests family members before they place with them? This family has a history with CPS...a history that includes drug abuse.
Again, we like this aunt, but we just get that gut feeling she has an "extracarricular" lifestyle.
They don't test here, heck, they barely background check relatives here. And I know you go on to say that you aren't usual to judge, so don't. I am not an advocate of smoking marijuana because i fully believe in following the law. That doesn't mean I agree that it should be illegal. I don't. I think it is a bunch of hooey. Alcohol has been proven in so many research projects to be far more damaging than recreational usage of marijuana, and it is completely legal. But I digress, that is not a debate for here.
There are probably far more recreational drug users in your everyday world than you would ever guess. I was chatting with some colleagues some time ago and told about how they went on this annual trip that the "voted elite" got to go to a tropical locale. And she was offered up not only marijuana but cocaine by high level management. I was flabbergasted. And my company does drug testing and you have to consent to random drug testing.
The point being, whether legal or illegal, there are hundreds of thousands of parents out there using drugs on a consistent basis and still able to "parent" successfully. So, if she smokes a joint, or whatever they call it today, after the kids are in bed, who cares, as long as the kids are being taken care of properly. If she is doing it in front of them, that is an entirely different story.
There will be sooo many more things for you to be concerned about in this foster care world. Now, having said all of that and defended this person whom I do not know, I have yet to meet someone who does recreational drugs and does do a great job of parenting. I know that FFDs auntie does pot, but not around her kids and she abstained when pregnant, but is she a great parent, no, does she meet more than their basic needs and love her kids, yah.