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Just wondering if anyone with experience fostering to adopt in Michigan thinks a younger child is possible? We are just starting out but we have a 4 year old we adopted (domestic infant adoption) through a private agency and we wanted to adopt a child younger than her. We are a mixed family in terms of race and our daughter is African-American, so we definitely would be open to anything in terms of race. Severe medical problems would not be possible for us to handle. We live in mid-Michigan, if anyone knows specifically about that. So when we call the agencies we got referred to from the state on Monday are they going to laugh us off the phone or do you all think younger than 4 is possible? I really hope so because we really want more children, but there's just no way we could come up with the $$$ that we needed for the private agency adoption again. thanks!
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We are in it for the same thing essentially. Don't expect it to be easy. My sister is in MI and has adopted two under 3 years old. Both are full bio siblings, and she got them both as infants. I know others also who have adopted infants. Its possible, but don't expect it to happen within the first year or so.
thank you both for the info. We are going to meet with an agency that places foster children soon. We are kind of undecided right now about the "emotional rollercoaster" part. I think if it was just my husband and I we would be more certain about going for it, but I have a lot of concerns about how well our daughter would do. I anticipate we will ask a lot of questions about that. If we had an infant/toddler for a while and then they were reunited with their birth family I anticipate she would be heartbroken. Any ideas on that part out there? A friend of a friend recently told me that they adopted through foster care but insisted through their case worker that they would only foster children whose parents had already had their parental rights terminated. She said it was to try to get around the part of having a lot of foster children that then are reunited and explaining this to her remaining children. Any experience with that idea? thanks again for the ideas everyone.
From what I have heard, and we are in MI too, straight adopting a young child 0-4 through foster care is certainly possible, but will likely take years. Likely. That's what I was told. However, straight adoption would probably be the best way to decrease any feelings of heartache or loss (emotional roller coaster), however this process will just take longer. Right now we are open to fostering children 0-4 years old and have two biological children of our own, 2 year old and a 4 year old. We tell our children that the foster kids who come to stay with us are not coming to stay forever. We say he/she is coming to visit for awhile. This has worked out well so far. I know that we will miss the foster child when he's gone, but we take lots of pictures right now and I plan to let the kids write letters or cards to him and if possible remain in contact. Some agencies we have talked with really shy away from "foster to adopt" and others are open to it. They are not all the same. So, find an agency who is open to what you are looking for. You certainly can foster to adopt, only accept children who have been TPR'd, or who are low legal risk. The statistics I have read in MI are as high has 80-90% of children in foster care are adopted by family or their foster parents. So, it is very obvious that to adopt a young child from foster care, you should become foster parents and while doing so find an agency who will place low legal risk children or ones who's parents have lost their rights into your home. But, if you don't mind waiting a while to straight adopt a young child, then you wouldn't need to foster. There are plenty of families on this forum who have adopted a young child from foster care. I am sure it takes a lot of patience, some heartache, and of course love. Best of luck to you! :-)
While we are not in the same situation, we want to foster (currently licensed with a relative placement) and are open to adoption should it come up. However I have talked to several people who have fostered children from infancy and then went on to adopt them. I am in Michigan as well. I think you have a very good chance of adopting from foster if that is what you want, but yes, it might be a rollercoaster on in and out before your forever child comes. I'm not sure about being specific as to only want children who have already had parental rights terminated, but maybe that could be an option.
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