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hi. I'm new here, seeking some advice.
I had my kids when I was 20 years old (a month before 21). I'd lived out of my house a couple times, but never alone and never responsible for finances. My kids and I have lived with my mom since they were 3 months old. For a year, my ex and I split the kids 50/50. It then dropped to he'd take them weekends, then further down to just maybe one night a week. Since January, it's been a few hours two days a week. He has finally started taking the kids overnight again. My mom helps me out a LOT. She wakes the kids and me up in the morning so I can take them to school and she will let me go out on weekends to "clear my head" but it hasn't been helping.
I've suffered from depression for a long time and lately it has been worse. I question myself a lot regarding raising my kids and pretty much my answer has come to this: I really don't think I would be able to do it without my mom.
I've blamed it on a lot of different things but I think the bottom line is just that I have never experienced taking care of MYSELF. I have talked about it to a few different people and they have mostly given their support for this idea.
The idea would be to have my kids in temporary care (whether foster or with family) for 12-18 months while I: 1) live alone & pay my own way, 2) work full time, and 3) go to school and get some sort of certification.
I am kind of set on this happening. Their father found out through the grapevine and seems to also support it. I guess what I am asking is for some sort of advice regarding who I need to talk to about this becoming a reality.
Oh yeah, I haven't told my mom about this.
I love my kids and I think this would be the best for them. Especially while they are young.
I live in Missouri. The only family I have here is my dad and my mom, who are divorced and have their own separate family things going on. My mom has lupus, so she thinks she wouldn't legally be allowed to care for the kids were it to become an adoption case. She also works nights with my stepdad downtown. The kids are in school during the day from 8-5. My dad's got three kids and owns a business and is possibly slightly mentally insane.
I don't think the father would be willing to take over caring for the kids full-time. About a year ago I had a breakdown in which I seriously thought about giving my kids up for adoption, to the point of speaking to a lawyer, but I ended up not following through. He took the kids for a few days and I went out of town to find out that my mom had taken the kids back two days in and he hadn't come back to get them yet. He came to my house when I came back and we had a talk in which he admitted that he wouldn't be able to do what I do, even with his parents' help and especially not without it. He currently lives in a small studio apartment. Last summer, his girlfriend bought a house for the two of them and our kids. She adores the kids, but I don't know if she would be willing to move him and the kids back into her place.
Besides that, my dad's family is spread out across the country (San Diego, New Mexico, Florida, New York) and all of my mom's family is in the Philippines.
Please. Any advice you have is helpful. Thank you.