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allwhohope
Just a few thoughts off the top of my head. Did the bmom's parents provide any specific examples? Is it possible they do not want an "outsider" adoption but rather would petition custody? Does your bmom speak of her parents or her other child(ren)?
If you are working with an agency or attorney, I would be dialing them so fast the keypad would have smoke coming off of it. If not, then I would think that you would have to speak very gently with the bmom regarding the matter. To protect you and your family, it seems like you have to investigate the comments more.
Is there someone else - a birth father, aunt, uncle cousin, neighbor - anyone else that you can think of that would be able to provide a neutral standpoint.
Take an honest look at the relationship you have had with bmom. Has there been any situations or experiences when you thought something but pushed it under the rug or found inconsistencies with situations?
I hope it turns out that the bmom parents were over-exaggerating but if they had nothing to gain from the experience, why would they provide such a comment?
I don't think that the grandparents want custody, initially the bmom hoped that they would parents but they said that they didn't want any more kids. Bmom speaks highly of her parents and how well they look after her child. She has brought her child to a couple of the visits and has seemed to have an ok relationship with them.
I have been thinking about all the meetings with her, but she always seems very genuine and honest about what she wants.
I really don't get why they would warn me against it, unless they did want to parent or it was really true.