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This seems so strange to me. Granted, I am new to the process here in ma, but all I have heard from dcf worker is that we should agree to an oa to avoid adoption delays. It sort of annoys me...but even more dh who thinks advocating for oa in abuse and neglect situations is...well, odd. I hope dcf comes around. To me, stability and permanence should override any concerns over infrequent visits where you can control stuff. Also, just for your peace of mind, if they don't see things your way, overturning tpr on appeal is rather rare..I know that may be cold comfort. Good luck. Dh says it is a wonder dcf is able to attract good parents at all...