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blessedmomee
We are in almost the exact situation. Our timeline is the same as yours. Birthmom rights are irrevocable, but he never signed. She is using him to get baby back, and he has said he won't parent but will give baby to her. Two months until TPR hearing. Would love to hear more about your situation and offer support!
Hugs!! I will be praying for you!
I am so sorry you are going through this. It is awful! The bmom signed 72 hrs after birth without an issue. She is very solid in her decision and very happy with us the APs to her daughter. The BF agreed to the adoption and was set to sign the papers the week we left Nevada (DDs birth state). However, he never showed to sign the papers and made excuses as to why he couldn't do it right now. The CW tried several times to contact him but he just stopped communication altogether. Our atty, CW, and SW all said the same thing...most of these guys just never sign and you never hear from them again. Everyone felt it would be okay. Then, after 9 weeks, we get the notification that he has filed papers to contest the adoption!
The TPR hearing was set for 6/7, so he had until that time to contest or sign. We had him served and did a public notification in the local paper. He is the identified birth father but still considered putative because they were not in a relationship at the time of birth. At the TPR hearing the only thing the judge did was terminate John doe's parental rights so no one else can come forward in the future. The bmom's right were not terminated in case the adoption falls through she can get them reinstated if she so desires.
We finally got the paternity test scheduled and completed. We are now waiting on the results, which should arrive by Friday. I do not doubt he is the BF because the bmom has not given us any reason to suspect he is not. He has been unwilling to say whether he wants to parent or just have a binding open adoption agreement until the results are
back. We are hoping he will tell us one way or the other shortly after he gets verification that he is the father.
We have found out that he was against the adoption until January. That is when he first said he would sign the papers. This was not communicated to us very clearly before. If we had known he really wanted to parent his child we would not have gotten involved. Although he is young and does not have a great job, we respect his right to parent. I just wish our DD did not have to go through this. The thought of her making such a transition is almost unbearable. She is 4 months old and has been with us since the moment she was born.
I would love to hear about your situation. Although it is sad to have company in this terrible situation, it is nice to be able to talk with someone that understands the extreme emotions you experience during a contested adoption. I will be praying for your family as well!