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I am a brand new foster parent. My fianc and I have worked with a foster/adoption agency for the past year and a half to become approved for a foster to adopt program. We were place one week ago with a 10 day old infant. I was so busy this week acclimating to the new infant and setting up our home that I only had time to tell my four children (who are all grown and away at college) and my mother that we had this infant placed with us. Someone called the foster agency and informed them that I was drinking around the infant and that I was financially unstable. These are false allegations. I own my own home outright and I would never drink around an infant. Do I have a case and can I find out who made these allegations. The infant was taken away from us by the agency only a week after we got him. The only ones who knew of our new infant was my immediate family. My biological children are all grown up and are in college. They all know I never drank alcohol around them when they were growing up! Someone is very jealous and no one is admitting to making these slanderous remarks about me. It could be that my bio children told my xhusbands family. That is the only thing i can think of but I need to know. None of these allegations are true. I can not sue the foster agency because they have an obligation to protect the child. I would like to sue them but I understand their obligation to protect the child. My question is, can I get an attorney to force the foster agency to disclose who made these allegations. I want to know who made this call to the agency and want to protect myself from this person in the future. My fiance and I have so much invested in the agency in becoming approved and as well our hopes and dreams of a family have been ruined.
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I think i am done with this forum. I say I don't drink on here and someone comments that my statement proves I drink by the way I worded the statement. You are all victims of abuse. Boo hoo and so jaded. Wow. I had a normal life until all of these jaded people in the social worker system entered it.
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sonderweed
You are all victims of abuse. Boo hoo and so jaded. Wow. I had a normal life until all of these jaded people in the social worker system entered it.
I don't drink...really, once and awhile I have half of one of those frozen daquari things you can buy at walmart :) We were never told we could not drink, but neither of us drink really, except for the occasional fruity beverage. When asked if I drink, I usually say no, because its so infrequent and I never even have a whole "drink". I think there are people who don't drink - mostly because most of it is really gross :D That being said, I understand that you are upset that it sounds like no one is being very supportive, but I think people just think it sounds fishy, maybe not on your behalf, but the whole situation. Its not adding up. If you feel like you want to keep fostering, then you'll have to cooperate with the agency. If you have nothing to hide, then everything should work out. If you don't want to deal with the drama, it would probably be best not to do foster care, because there can be a lot of drama. Best of luck to you for whatever you decide to do and with this particular situation.
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I was also the victim of an anonymous false and malicious allegation. It was actually what led me to this message board because I was a mix of furious and scared. Scared, because I did not trust the competence of CPS and felt like not only was the placement of my FD (who has lived most of her life with us and who I love like my own child) at stake, but also my own son. I knew who was behind the call (bio-mom) and it was completely baseless, but it was still stressful.The things I was accused of were much worse than financial and drinking. The investigation was over pretty quickly, but it took some time for my anger and fear to subside. I am jaded because of my experiences with the system and I was the victim of a false allegation that felt like an attack on my family.I'm like you in the sense that I do not like drama. I see in this system many people who honestly care about kids but are so overwhelmed/burnt out, that they do not even blink at the dysfunction anymore. I hope and pray I do not ever get to that point.While I do understand your outrage, I don't think you will get anywhere in finding out who made the call. If you do want to continue with foster care, I think your best bet is to accept that and just focus on addressing the accusations. Your agency gets them all the time and it is routine business for them. I do understand and I'm sorry this happened to you.
I'd get the whole story from the agency. Please share with us, so we can help you. Is it a Private Christian agency and they made you sign something that you could not drink in front of your placements? Can they dig up proof that one of you "misled" them on part of your financial statements? If not, neither of these are appropriate for removal of a child. Did one of you confess to a mandated reported about heavy drinking - and the agency feels the current "alcohol problem" might potentially harm the child? (Clergy, Nurses, Daycareworkers, Kinship care, Fellow FPs are all mandated reporters) Are either of you known for drinking heavily? I don't want this to offend you, but I'd ask your fiance to immediately provide you with a credit report. There may be a shred of truth to the allegations, so I'd make sure that you've not been misled. I recommend that you both pull your credit reports and have that ready for CPS.
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There's something missing from this whole thing. At any time while you had the baby did you mention the word "adoption" to the CW? Are there other FPs in your area who are waiting for an infant and could be ticked off that you got one and they didn't? Yes, I have heard about this in our area before as infants that young are wanted by many. I'm just speculating here, but I have to think that there is more going on. Alcohol is not illegal and if you have not been witnessed abusing it, then that should not be a reason for immediate removal. We had a few bottles of wine visible in our house when we got our homestudy done and not a word was mentioned. As for the statement about your finances, did you fill out the same 20 page form we did with our bank statements, 401Ks, investments, expenses, etc.? Something isn't adding up here.
sonderweed
I think i am done with this forum. I say I don't drink on here and someone comments that my statement proves I drink by the way I worded the statement. You are all victims of abuse. Boo hoo and so jaded. Wow. I had a normal life until all of these jaded people in the social worker system entered it.
sonderweed
I think i am done with this forum. I say I don't drink on here and someone comments that my statement proves I drink by the way I worded the statement. You are all victims of abuse. Boo hoo and so jaded. Wow. I had a normal life until all of these jaded people in the social worker system entered it.
sonderweed
However, in light of how I see this foster agency's way of operating, I am going to approach this by first getting a lawyer. One of my daughter's did not get her 40,000 scholarship this year because her father and i messed up her FAFSA application. While this is terrible it may be fixable but they might all be over reacting but do i deserve this ?
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Oh great. Take things out of context for their own purpose. These people who believe that the foster care system is so horrible and out to destroy families are a bunch of fools. They never offer a solution either, just complain about the problems. There are going to be problems because it is dealing with faulty human beings, money and bureaucracy - but there are many lovely people in the system, including most foster parents, who are in just for the kiddos, to protect, and help them. You can't blame foster parents for wanting to keep a child in their home they've bonded to if it comes to that, or sad to send a child home to a situation they know is just as bad as was to begin with. I'm sorry, but not every bio home is good for kids - that is just the way it is. Some people aren't good, and some people should never have kids. I'm sorry that the kids had a bad family that couldn't take care of them, it is sad for them they were born into it, but it is not the system's fault.
