Unsupportive Family

Gosh, I feel for you in this situation. The questions that come to mind for me (not that I expect you to answer them for us unless you wish to!) include how is your relationship with your mother outside of this issue, and how does she usually react to new ideas/situations with which she may have little to no experience or education? And, was she supportive of you having children before infertility was an issue? If this response is outside of the realm of her typical responses, then perhaps she is completely misinformed about adoption and just needs time and education. If her typical responses are negative, then as others have stated, you have to live the life that you want and be confident in your desire to be a mom. If she can't be supportive, then she will have to miss out on all of the joy that you will experience in this incredible process. I like what Zenbaby advised. I think that it is common practice for the home study to address how your immediate family feels about your adoption plans (it was for us anyway). It is certainly not a deal breaker if family members are not supportive, but the social worker will want to know how you have dealt with the negativity, and how you will handle situations in the future if a family member remains unsupportive. So, it is an important topic to think about and find peace with. My grandmother said the same thing to me about infertility - that God must have wanted it this way. She didn't mean to be hurtful, she just really believes that God makes such individual decisions. As I grieved our IVF failures and stewed/stressed about the emotional risk/complexities and high cost of adoption, my mother made the comment that people who really want children find a way to have them, and so maybe I didn't really want children? Again, she didn't mean to be hurtful, but she just didn't understand some of the realities that we face in this journey. Or, she was trying to manipulate me into action so she could have a GD, and if this is the case, then I am eternally grateful! :-) So, I guess my point is that the context of her comments is important. If they were a big surprise to you, then perhaps there is some deeper trigger for her that you should explore. Maybe she is terrified for you to get hurt? I know how important parental approval can be, but please look to the supportive people in your life for support. I do hope that she comes around for her own sake :-) Best wishes!