Ok so our current little miss is 4 and completely potty trained, so different from Angel. The only thing is she will not put toilet paper in the toilet nor will she flush the toilet. I realize that's probably what she was doing at home but I've told her (multiple times) that we flush our toilets here and put the paper in the toilet.
Any advice on how to help her do this?
Just to add to the cultural discussion on toilets, I have been to some very rural, remote, and impoverished places (even in the US) that use composting toilet systems, as there is not plumbing. With those, paper is a no-no, it gets burned, and you have to put sawdust in the toilet after you use it. So even in the US not everyone grows up with a flushing toilet, it really is a luxury. Especially after you get splinters in your bum from sawdust that was dumped on the toilet seat!
I do have a friend who has a rule about no flushing at night in her home, but it's because her old house has a toilet that is very loud when flushed and her youngest child has autism and is a very, very light sleeper. The toilet flushing wakes him up every time and he is difficult to get back to sleep and usually cries loudly and wakes up her other children. So the rule in their home is no flushing when S is sleeping. My kids were able to learn that at her house they do things one way but at home we do things another. Lots of things are that way, some homes require shoes off, some have different rules about where you can eat or drink, etc
Ask why she doesn't flush. She may be afraid of the sound or something else quirky that may surprise you.
Explain poop and the special germs so that she'll understand why the paper's not safe in the trash. Ask her for ideas for how she can remember. (A bell above the TP roll, etc.)
Well, we didn't flush at night because of the noise, and my mom lives in a house that was built in the 50's and if you put paper in all the time, it will clog the system. This is out in the country, with a septic tank. I can tell some of you must live in the city with no plumbing problems at all. A lot of the children come from families that rent older homes, and flushing paper is a no-no with the older septic sytems. And they are just doing what they have been taught. My 12 year old wouldn't use paper a lot of times, or flush, or wash her hands. It is simply what they have been taught, and what they have been taught takes center stage over what you are trying to re-train them to do.
Last night she explained why she didn't flush I was able to have some one on one time with her while she had an unhurried bath. Then we painted her nails.
She said she doesn't flush because at her house one toilet, the front one she uses only flushes once a day and toilet paper makes the water come out. The other one is ok though. So to me that sounds like a plumbing issues and I told her that it wasn't a problem at this house and to remember not to back up the toilet when she gets home :)
I would do a flush chart (a star on a sheet) for every time she gets it, mixed with the need to spend 2 min in the bathroom focusing on the need to flush when she doesn't.
When she gets so many starts she gets to choose a special prize (we get bulk silly bands and tattoos from oriental trading)
My BD with no sensory issues is 5 and constantly forgets to flush the toilet, no matter how many times I have reminded her. I need to try the picture/sign to remind her.
My bio son has a sensory issue -- auditory defensiveness -- so the sound of the flushing toilet was too loud for him. Now (at 7) he no longer has a problem with private toilets, but large, echoing public bathrooms are still a problem. He just flushes and runs then goes back and washes his hands.
For children that the sound bothers (it does me), when they're a bit older, you can give them foam ear plugs to put in their pocket. Otherwise, they can put a bit of toilet paper in their ears to deaden the sound.
My hearing became sensitive when I lost some hearing due to a job. I now travel with little foam earplugs in the watch or coin pocket of my jeans, and in my purses.
Kids with this type sound issues may do 1000 times better in *movies* with earplugs in, also. Amazing difference. Even riding in the car can be easier for people with auditory sensitivities, for whatever reason.
Arbuckle, love the chart with reward idea. So so many things will be cured by a reward. Keeping track on the way to the goal can be fun, also, room for lots of praise for all the successes.
I didn't read all of the responses, but just wanted to add another perspective. We have had this issue is the past with our 6-year old DD, and came to find out the reason behind it was she was afraid of the loud flushing noise. She has always been really sensitive to loud noises.
Hmmm...interesting. 11 yr old hates the garbage disposal, says our showers are too loud (we have nice, double head massage showerheads), and "forgets" to flush. Auditory sensitivity never occurred to me as he has zero other issues.
I had trouble when I taught kindergarten with my Mexican kids...they threw all toilet paper in the trash, because plumbing was so poor in the migrant housing. They would be fined if they plugged up a toilet.
On a similar note, has anyone had a child who stripped completely naked to use the toilet? I'm talking socks, shoes, the works...and in a public restroom, no less. For some reason I only saw that behavior in AA kids.
Okay, we have a RAD girl age 13. She's been with us a year and a half, and just RECENTLY starting 'forgetting' to flush. Both #1 and #2. And she doesn't use toilet paper. At first she would only do this at nightand only with pee because of the noise, so we talked about it and told her it's okay to flush at night, we're on the opposite end of the house and can't hear it. And please use toilet paper! But recently she pooped the night before, got up and peed, and went to school and left poop unflushed in toilet all day. When she got home, she said she had to go to the bathroom real bad and was holding it because she knew what she did and what was waiting for her in her bathroom. It smelled like the sewer. On a separate occasion, her shower wasn't working so she had to use our master bathroom and used the toilet in there and didn't flush, even though she could've used her own toilet before coming in to use our shower. When confronted, she just denies, I think it's another control/button pushing battle with her. She found some new way to upset us and create a situation and push our buttons. So I printed off an ad for an automatic toilet bowl flusher and it costs $200. I told her if she does it again, we're selling her Nintendo 3DS to help pay for it!
My 5 year old FS ad issues with the bathroom when he first came - he didn't flush, wash his hands, turn out the light or put the seat up.
I was most irritated by not putting the seat up b/c he would pee all over it and then in the middle of the night I would sit in it .... EWWWWWW!!!!
So everytime he went to the bathroom and missed any of the steps
-Turn the light on
- put the seat up
- go to the bathroom
- flush
- put the seat down
-wash his hands
-turn out the light
he had to practice - until he got it right twice
the first time I think he practiced 20 times before he did it right twice.
the next time he took about 5
after that he would only have to practice twice and then he would be good.
Now he only forgets every so often and when he does and I call him in he says - oh shoot - now I have to practice...
I hate those people who behave different from their routine days . When they are out of their habitat , they start behave in a wrong way . They are not a child and we can't teach them how to behave in front of public . They come some places and they think they bought whole building . We should put them then flush toilet . That is the solution .
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