Changing names?

I think 11 is more than old enough to make the decision herself, and you letting the ultimate decision rest in her hands will go far in building trust in respect between the two of you.I suppose the way I would handle it is to discuss the pros and cons of changing the name vs keep her birth name (with you not showing a preference either way). I'd also empathize to her that this is a big decision and a personal one she needs to make herself - one of many in her life she'll have to make, and will also have to live with the consequences of whatever decision she chooses. When we consummated, my AD was only 2.5. I kept the original first name, but changed the spelling to the traditional one so she wouldn't have to go her whole life with people messing it up. I did change her middle name, and her last, of course :-)