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I don't know if this thread even belongs here, as I don't feel it's an attachment problem. But my 7-year-old daughter has been having the most terrible outbursts of anger lately. And beneath that anger lies a deepfelt frustration at knowing that she was abandoned by her birth mother (in China) when she was just two weeks old. "How could she do it?" she keeps asking me. She directs her frustration and anger at me, which I can understand: Her birth mother is not here. I am. How do I help her? Has anyone else gone through this with their child?
You need to find an couselor/ therapist that knows adoption issues asap. She can be helped, but she needs some counseling. Kids have this way of thinking that they believe they control the world. Within this thought process is the very thing you talk about. She believes that whatever has happened is her fault and she is trying to understand how it happened. She needs a professional to help her through this process.
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Thanks for your reply. I talked to a therapist who has seen this in several adopted children. I am very hopeful that she can help us get through this. It is so hard to watch your own child go through this pain...