Older Child Adoption: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

I think Linny's info is spot on. I have not adopted an older child, but I know several people who have. She is right on about talking to parents who have been parenting their older children for 4-5 years--not the people who are only 1-2 years into this. Also, keep in mind that many of your acquaintances are not going to want to disclose all of their trials and heartaches concerning their adopted child with you. So, unless you're very close friends with someone, you can't really say that they're doing great. I am very close friends with a family, and to the general public, it looks like they're doing fantastic, but mom and dad share their real issues with close friends, and they are literally holding on by a thread due to issues with their teen son (who was an older child at adoption). This is why I think Linny's idea of going to a support group for parents who adopted older children is a better idea, and will give you a better understanding. Parents will be more honest with you if they know you're considering older child adoption, and if you don't run in the same social circles that they do.