Deborah

Deborah Who is this woman? She who was slave to a man Who with an unwilling desire Had to succumb to His touch His smell His taste His rapture She who in that moment Was disempowered Filled with hatred Consumed with fear Lost in time And in those Precious moments And in those Precious moments In XӔ location I was conceived For months I lay dormant Renting but a mere space In a womb In this world For I had no connection And the umbilical cord Cut Before it touched the air Left me in solitude And it makes Me wonder It makes Me wonder If she Felt me If she Missed me And I tell myself I know she did! I know she must! How could she..not? But what about him? Because I am missing Them Both But how can you Miss, Mourn or Love Someone you never met? She would not listen For she couldnŒt hear me And he was deaf to her screams PLEASE.DonŒt leave me! PLEASE.DonŒt abandon me! And yet I couldnt speak For I Had no voice Although I Understood For I Had no choice To understand To accept that these Were the ғlife parents God has given me And I am blessed For this is my journey This is MoԒs Story And I am grateful Must always be thankful Can not feel guilty Can not feel bad For being adopted I am proud. Must stop giving in Although desperately Trying to avoid Trying to escape And now I say STOPӔ Allowing minds captivity to Hold me hostage Any longer But it is I who has done such I have begun To release these shackles Break through these chains Lift this weight And get rid of these negative influences That surround me So I can learn how to deal with these issues that Hold me back from myself I Let Go of A fantasy A re-enactment A re-birth of A crime of scene of Passion and Pain Taboo and Secrecy Trunks, Lies and Money Let Go of The pre-conceived notion That she despised me For she did not want me For she did not ask for me I was forced upon her Against her own will And this desire to be one Brings Pain and Torment Disgust and Shame But still I live I live as if I were she For his rape Consumes me But no matter how powerless In the moment She felt She was Powerful For in that moment When water trickled Down her leg She felt the labor pain She had the power and control And yet she relinquished her duties Wiped her hands Clean of my blood He oblivious to my existence They Both Allowed them Gave them Granted them permission To label me Abandonada MoniqueӔ No last name But that woman For her own personal reasons be known to man Chose to Disconnect Disassociate Reject Release She decided to Let Go And Let Others Raise Me 3 days later I was born again Dominicana Orphan Beautiful Eccentric Smart Opinionated Expressive Thick-skinned Curvaceous Stubborn Open minded Confident and Strong willed With a perseverance to Continue Breaking through walls and ceilings Making waves Building foundations Planting seeds Preparing my son for the future For he is my blood Who is this woman? She is I By Monique De La Oz