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Dickons
That abortion or adoption crap is then utilized in many ways throughout the life of the adoptee.
Your mother chose life...I am so thankful your mother chose life... and while those statements as stand alone aren't bad - try listening to them as the adoptee over the course of their entire lifetime...
Your mother could have chosen abortion but choose the LIFE saving option of adoption instead.
I think I would be hard-pressed not to smack anyone who said that to either of my children. I have tremendous issues with my children being used to promote someone else's agenda. My father and I actually had a long conversation about this very thing after we drove past a women's clinic with protesters outside last week; he had never really given any thought to the adoption/abortion thing being a false dichotomy and how offensive it is to many adopted people (and some of their parents, too...).
Certainly it's true that D *could* have chosen to terminate either or both pregnancies. (She told me it "crossed her mind" when she was pregnant with Julia but wasn't something she felt she could do.) In reality, she spent the better part of both pregnancies deciding whether she felt she could parent them; choosing adoption had nothing to do with "choosing life."
My parents *could* have chosen abortion, too. I was completely unplanned - they were young and not yet married and not planning to start a family for a while. And my mother discovered she was pregnant just a week or two after Roe v Wade was decided, so certainly it was a legal option for them. And you're absolutely right - no one ever says to me that I should be grateful that my parents chose life. As far as I know, I'm the only one to ever have suggested that it was even an option for them (and that was only to make basically the same point you made here).