Advertisements
Hello, my name is Breann. I am 23. I'm new to this forum, and I'm just beginning the adoptive process and beginning the first step, research. I want to tell you a little about my story first. First of all, I have a biological 2 year old daughter. She is my heart and soul, she has opened my eyes up to so much in life and is literally my sunshine. I thrive for her and she is in turn a loving, outgoing little girl. Back in May, my second daughter was a victim of shaken baby syndrome, she suffered serious and traumatic injuries at the hands of her father. He is also the father of my 2 year old. He is in prison now, and will never set foot near me or my children again. My second daughter, is 60 to 80% braindamaged, blind in the right eye and is fed by a Gtube. I feel I cannot care for her, she is very severe I her 'storming' and it has broken my heart and has literally tore me up inside. A piece of myself is gone forever and my home feels so incomplete. She completed that circle and it's gone. I hope to not get negative judgement, but I am possibly looking to adopt a baby. Nothing could ever replace her, but I have always wanted 2 children and I am confident I can give him/her a loving and wonderful home. My 2 year old needs a sibling, and after I had my second daughter I undergone the Essure procedure. And I cannot have anymore children unfortunately. I hope I don't upset some of you by what I'm wanting to do. Nothing can replace baby girl, but I have a need to nurture and I am single, and planning to be for a very long time. My daughter deserves a sister or a brother. Please, if you have any advice, please share it with me. If you have anything at all. I hope to hear from you all soon. Breann
Like
Share
I'm not totally understanding if you still have the little one with you? I don't want to be harsh, but if you are struggling with caring for both of your children right now, maybe wait a few years and then re evaluate? I can't speak for private adoption, but IMO in may be difficult for you to obtain a foster license as well.
Advertisements
It sounds like you are dealing with a great deal of grief right now. I also hope I don't sound harsh, but a baby will not cure that grief. It is something you will need to work through in order to care for your children and yourself. Generally an adoption agency will not approve you if you have had such a traumatic experience so recently, and will want to know that you have fully dealt with such issues before approving you to adopt in the future. I would suggest starting by dealing with your own grief and trauma. Find a good counselor. Get support and education in caring for your younger daughter's needs. Spend the time you need to work through it; after you have taken that time, you will be able to consider more objectively whether adoption is right for you and your family.
I am confused...Do you still have your 2nd child? If so, Are you concerned that you wouldn't be able to adopt because your children were victims of abuse? If that is the case, later down the road when you are in a more stable condition in your ability to care for both your children, if you were not implicated in any way shape or form in the abuse I would think adoption would be possible. (mental stability is also evaluated as many IF mothers on here can attest)I am so sorry this happen.ETA: as you process all that has happened, I would also look into ensure reversal and IVF as possibilities. Since its only been a few months I would high recommend time before any decisions.