22 years ago and he is searching for me, I'm a birthmom

I didn't have this issue in my reunion because I never had other children and my reunion with my son was just between the two of us with no other family members involved on either side. Having said that, it is perfectly normal to feel left out, and I know I would be feeling the same way as you under the circumstance. You are taking the best approach realizing this is "your issue" as you say, and I would recommend taking your son's lead on this and work through the feelings you are having (many other feelings will arise, as well) with a counselor or adoption support group, or in discussion here with people who have been there/done that. Reunion brings up a whole roller-coaster ride of feelings and it can easily get overwhelming. I would try to gently carve out some one-on-one time with your son (and YES, by all means you can refer to him as your SON, but before you call him son in person to his face, make sure to discuss with him how he prefers to be addressed - my son is fine with me calling him "son," other adoptees are not at all comfortable with it and that is OK too). Good luck to you! It's an exciting time for sure, but know that you need to pace yourself and take time to process the strong emotions that will come up. No matter how prepared you are, you will still be blindsided with a lot of feelings. So take care of you as best as you can right now.