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I have been hearing recently on various threads about foster parents being denied to adopt their foster children. I have even heard of some appealing the decision. I was shocked by this because being foster/adopt we we were lead to believe if any of our foster kiddos become available we have the first choice to adopt if bio family has been ruled out obviously. Does anyone know why this happens? I am just wondering.
truthfully, I've never heard or met any fosterparents, who were denied adopting their foster children, once they were adoptable.
my husband had the same fear about our VERY SOON to be STAS, because he is 55, and our little man is only a baby, (well, he was a baby, NOW he is already 18 month old) but we were assured that that is NOT the case :)
I know of 2 VERY OLD grandparents, who were fighting for placement of a newborn grandchild, that was never placed with them (BM chose a religious adoption center, and child became never a 'foster child' but went straight for adoption) and I must say, I was thinking to myself WHAT would those people do with a newborn???!!??? they are both at least 78 or so.... instead of FIGHTING, they should have tried to establish a relationship with the AP, and be GRANDPARENTS to this little one... so sad, for all involved, but that's how it went down...
again, this had nothing to do with CYS PLACING a child, this was a straight adoption situation.
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In the case of our STAKs, their foster parents were not a good fit. The kids were not doing well in their home. At times they wanted to keep the kids but not actually adopt them. They also complained a lot about how difficult the kids were and wanting to swap them for "easy" kids. The kids behavior was not very good. FM did not interact with them well. The sw kept the kids in their home for 2 years, because they did not realize it would be that long, and they did not want to move the kids around too much. They actually came for a long visit to get out of there and then when they went back, they went to a new foster home until they could come back to us.
I think if the kids are doing well, you don't have to worry.
The only reason I can see is if e kids expressed they don't want foster parent to adopt. My boys have a brother and 2 sisters placed in another foster together, their fp's were planning on adopting all 3 but their brother said he wants to be adopted with his brothers (my boys). They let him make that choice at 7 years old, despite the fact he has been with s FP for over 2 years. Their AW wouldn't even consider splitting the boys despite the fact my boys desperately wanted to be adopted by us and we don't have room for all 3. We actually decided we we were NOT going to be able to adopt, but if we had wanted to we would have been denied unless we took their brother too (if it was up to me alone I would have taken all 3, but we had to consider our family dynamics and it just wasn't looking like the right decision)
It think that is also also depends on the rules of state you are in. Here there is no guarantee that you can adopt your foster child. It takes 12 months to get standing and that too can be denied. Family is considered first even if the child has been in your home for years. Family can come forward at nearly every point of the process (even after an adoptive match is made).
Here if caretaker status is not given to the foster family then the child must go to committee. The foster family is usually considered by the committee, but there are no guarantees. I know several great foster families that have not been chosen for their foster kids. These are homes are still open, but another family was better for that child.
We faced having to go to committee for our stbas because we did not have him 12 months. The cw apologized over and over, but kept saying the law was the law. Somehow at the last minute they found a loophole in the law and were able to ask for expedited status. We got it, but we could have been denied.
Adoption also take a long time finalize in my state, think 9, 12, 18 months. I am amazed how fast some of you go to adopt. My little guy was free in May and we are still waiting with no end in sight.
I've heard of it in our family member's adoption case. The FP's were not doing enough to help the child along. He was being sat in front of the television all day. He wasn't thriving in the environment, though they were good foster parents. They literally picked him up and moved him into another adoptive home and now he's adopted.
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tnlmommy2b
I have been hearing recently on various threads about foster parents being denied to adopt their foster children. I have even heard of some appealing the decision. I was shocked by this because being foster/adopt we we were lead to believe if any of our foster kiddos become available we have the first choice to adopt if bio family has been ruled out obviously. Does anyone know why this happens? I am just wondering.
My daughter's fm wanted to adopt H and was denied. I was kind of surprised that someone could be good enough to foster but not good enough to adopt. But if the child has needs (especially future needs for medical care..etc) that the current foster parent can't meet, or if the foster parent had an illness that would prevent them from living until the child reached adulthood, I could understand it. A 65 year old would be fine to foster a 3 year old-but would it be wise to adopt? She would be in her mid 70's when the child was a teenager. She would be in her 80's when the child graduated from college. Age shouldn't be the only factor (especially if there is other family who could step up in the event that a parent dies) but I can see how it would affect a decision to let the person adopt.
ETA: I think foster children should be adopted by their foster parents if it's a good fit. Moving a child is never the 'best' plan. It should only happen when it's the ONLY option left. But I am really glad I was chosen to adopt H. She is a joy. I can't imagine life without her. I felt bad for her FM but she really did belong in my family.
My oldest daughter came to us at a year old as an adoptive placement after her foster mother, who wanted to adopt her, was denied.
We were told that the previous foster mother was a foster only home. The foster mom was much older, had some minor health issues, had her in daycare all the time, was low income and didn't have much of a support system. We were initially told her adoptive homestudy was denied but later learned that they never did one because the private agency she was with was a foster only agency. She very much wanted to adopt though.
They don't only want foster parents to adopt here but it's almost a requirement for young ones (assuming no family is found). And they do! In almost two years of being licensed, I've never received a call to get a child from another foster home (with one exception but she'd been in care a day and wanted to move her to my area). They are just never looking for homes for young kids on the adoption track here because its always the foster parents adopting.
Thanks for all of the answers. I guess this seems to be more common in states that do not allow foster/adopt dual licensing. It makes sense when it is age or health related or if it is a "bad" match. When I was hearing it all I could picture was this young couple who had fostered their kiddos for a year or more and given them the world only to be told they would not be allowed to adopt.
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Quite frankly, I am glad that foster parents aren't always the number one choice because unfortunately, you'd be rewarding a bad foster parent who might agree to adoption for the AA. In some areas, it can be as high as the foster per-diem. If this is a suspicion, then the child should go to committee and try to get placed in a very loving home.
I am quite certain the cases like that are rare, but they are out there. That woman in FL who starved her adoptive sons is perfect example. She seemed ok as a foster parent under microscope, but once CPS was gone from picture, her true motives were seen.
That said, as far as I know, here, it goes bio family, kin, fictive kin or far removed kin then foster parent, then stranger adoption in order of precedence. I haven't heard of foster family being denied here.
hisdaisy
It think that is also also depends on the rules of state you are in. Here there is no guarantee that you can adopt your foster child. It takes 12 months to get standing and that too can be denied. Family is considered first even if the child has been in your home for years. Family can come forward at nearly every point of the process (even after an adoptive match is made).
Here if caretaker status is not given to the foster family then the child must go to committee. The foster family is usually considered by the committee, but there are no guarantees. I know several great foster families that have not been chosen for their foster kids. These are homes are still open, but another family was better for that child.
We faced having to go to committee for our stbas because we did not have him 12 months. The cw apologized over and over, but kept saying the law was the law. Somehow at the last minute they found a loophole in the law and were able to ask for expedited status. We got it, but we could have been denied.
Adoption also take a long time finalize in my state, think 9, 12, 18 months. I am amazed how fast some of you go to adopt. My little guy was free in May and we are still waiting with no end in sight.
This is exactly how my state works. Just because you are the foster parent does not get you first choice here. They do take it into consideration because the child has been in your care, but they go to committee for every child to find the "best" family for the child. My oldest AS was with a foster family that wanted to adopt, however they were older and both had significant health issues. My AS was challenging behaviorally. He craved attention in the worst ways. The foster mom ran a daycare out of her home. She did respite care, had 4 bio kids and 2 grandkids all living in the home. So because he needed more attention the committee felt he should be in a home where he could get more attention. They wanted him in a single parent home with no other children. So he came to me. I honestly think they didn't want her to adopt because that would have closed her home.
TemporaryMom
Quite frankly, I am glad that foster parents aren't always the number one choice because unfortunately, you'd be rewarding a bad foster parent who might agree to adoption for the AA. In some areas, it can be as high as the foster per-diem. If this is a suspicion, then the child should go to committee and try to get placed in a very loving home.
I am quite certain the cases like that are rare, but they are out there. That woman in FL who starved her adoptive sons is perfect example. She seemed ok as a foster parent under microscope, but once CPS was gone from picture, her true motives were seen.
That said, as far as I know, here, it goes bio family, kin, fictive kin or far removed kin then foster parent, then stranger adoption in order of precedence. I haven't heard of foster family being denied here.
Hmmm, well AA is almost nonexistent here and if you do get it, it's WAY less than what you're getting to foster here. Like maybe 10%.
Unfortunately where I live this if fairly common. I have a friend that has been a foster parent to siblings for 5 years. She was just denied as the adoptive resource (kids have been with her since 4 months old and birth) due to "racial differences" as the kids are 1/16 and 1/32 First Nations. They were actively looking to move the kids to an adoptive family a 17 hour drive away from the community these kids have been in their whole lives, including positive relationships with siblings in other families and extended birth family. The social workers "promised" this other family the kids, before even telling the foster parent they would not consider her. Devastating for the pre-adoptive family who are only told the foster parent is "not approved" and for the blindsided foster parent.
She is fighting the system, and so far winning -- but all too often here kids are moved for no apparent reason after years with foster families. I am definitely of the opinion that if you are a good enough parent to be their foster parent for 3, 4, or 5 years, you are good enough to be their adoptive parent because to the child you ARE their parent.
This is 100% why we chose to take guardianship of our daughters. We know most certainly that in foster care in our province, due to the race of our daughters, they could have been moved AT ANY TIME in their lives. Even 12 or 13 years after placement.
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Jensboys
Unfortunately where I live this if fairly common. I have a friend that has been a foster parent to siblings for 5 years. She was just denied as the adoptive resource (kids have been with her since 4 months old and birth) due to "racial differences" as the kids are 1/16 and 1/32 First Nations. They were actively looking to move the kids to an adoptive family a 17 hour drive away from the community these kids have been in their whole lives, including positive relationships with siblings in other families and extended birth family. The social workers "promised" this other family the kids, before even telling the foster parent they would not consider her. Devastating for the pre-adoptive family who are only told the foster parent is "not approved" and for the blindsided foster parent.
She is fighting the system, and so far winning -- but all too often here kids are moved for no apparent reason after years with foster families. I am definitely of the opinion that if you are a good enough parent to be their foster parent for 3, 4, or 5 years, you are good enough to be their adoptive parent because to the child you ARE their parent.
This is 100% why we chose to take guardianship of our daughters. We know most certainly that in foster care in our province, due to the race of our daughters, they could have been moved AT ANY TIME in their lives. Even 12 or 13 years after placement.
Oh yes. When ICWA laws apply, that is an exception to the rule here. I purposely won't take kids with known NA heritage. Had a close call with my current placement (all a lie).
HopingForForever
Hmmm, well AA is almost nonexistent here and if you do get it, it's WAY less than what you're getting to foster here. Like maybe 10%.
Right, which is why I said some areas. :-). I have no proof, but I have heard that here, where I had to really fight for AA for Chubbs, if you adopt an older sib group, especially non-Caucasian, that you will get more $$$ than foster per diem because there are other programs that they can pull from once adoption happens. Same with kin. By default, they get very little assistance unless they and the child are title 4 e qualified. One kin told FP in a class of mine that she didn't even want the sibling the FP had but she would take him because the county would bump up her $$$. That really ticks me off because there are good and loving kin out there who might take a child if they got some financial help like to help pay for daycare.