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I struggled with this for YEARS after adopting DD (who is seven years old). We finally moved forward with foster adopt, and have been placed with a beautiful baby girl who is biracial like DD. It has been wonderful to see DD just so THRILLED to have a sister who is "black and white and brown" (that's how DD describes it!) like her. That said, I am now 44 years old and there is a reason I believe God starts menopause around that time! haha. I am exhausted. But I am praying that we will be able to adopt the baby.
Honestly, I have had a great experience (so far) with our state's foster/adopt program, but I don't think that is universal. Best!