Here I am again

OK, I'm sorry. I'm going to be judgmental. I'm an adopted adult (and a birth mother), so I think I have a right to weigh in here. First of all, children offer NO guarantees, whether biological or adopted. You don't know what you're going to get or what issues they may face. And if that's not a risk you can deal with, I don't think parenting is for you (yes, I understand this sounds incredibly jerky, but it's how I feel). Adopted children have already suffered a significant trauma that has taken their natural family from them. Even having been adopted at birth, I don't know a single other adopted child or adult who hasn't been extremely sensitive to abandonment or anything that looks, feels or quacks like abandonment. I get that sometimes kids present issues that parents are not necessarily equipped to deal with. But isn't the ADULT (parent) the one who is supposed to buck up and find a way? Children aren't a sweater you can return to the store because you decide you don't like the way it fits. And I certainly get that there's a massive lack of resources to help parents who have challenging children. Personally, I'm not sure how you were approved to adopt again after a dissolution, but again, just my opinion. If I found out that the family who adopted my daughter changed their minds and sent her back because she wound up being a challenge, I'd be heartbroken. I spent a significant amount of time agonizing over my decision and trying to decide who and what was best for her, and I expect her parents to be just that. Her parents. Forever. I agree with earlier posters who suggested you seek counseling regarding your earlier dissolved adoption. And please, I beg you, please do not give up on this new child. He/she needs you.