Attachment Therapy/ Nap Hurdles in School?

Yes we were accredited and we have multiple children with special needs and flexed for all of them. I did not say they SHOULDN'T meet her needs just that the cold hard truth is that they don't NEED to. There is no law, unless they recieve federal education funds, which as a daycare (rather than say a charter elementary school) I doubt they do. I was not replying to the OP so much as the PP that suggested she get her on an IEP. Daycares don't do IEPs (although as you said, good ones may think they are a great tool to give them guidance with a child). They don't create IEPs nor are they required by law to carry them out.

I haven't read the responses yet, but..... 1) I worked childcare and completely understand why kids must be required to follow the schedule. I think it is reasonable to ask the child to play quietly. At the same time, I think they have to be reasonable in figuring what that may look like for a three year old also. I would work with them on some ideas such as changing activities, encouragement, etc. 2) I think the punishment they have chosen is unreasonable. I *hate* those for any age child. Outside play is necessary for brain development, behavior, etc. Additionally, if they aren't supporting her needs enough (the things in #1), it is unfair to punish her for their failure. THis is going to be an issue because it is going to be difficult to help her realize that she won't be punished that way anymore AND that she isn't "getting away with" it either. But....her behavior is most likely anxiety related (past and punishment). So she will lose SOME of it simply because she isn't being punished anymore. Then, as they support her needs, she'll lose a little more. But some days, lying their at all is going to be a trigger. 3) I prefer a quality center over public school, but school may be able to help in some ways. At the same time, jumping through their hoops is miserable and can be time consuming (all while the child is dysregulated and miserable and causing others to be miserable). Honestly, school was the biggest hurdle to attachment we had last year (my -now-adopted children are home for school this year and at least for the foreseeable future). Anyway, so a few options. First, work with the daycare to set kiddo up for success. Second, have them lose the punishment (this is non-negotiable!). Third, consider public school options, if for no other reasons that there will be supports in place once she is school-aged.

I never said 'have the daycare do an iep.' any educated person would know that they need to go to the school district, which by LAW has to serve special needs kids 3 and over. Any educated pediatrician would know and be able to direct a parent this way. Just because there's no law doestn' mean that they won't help with a special needs child (private daycares). Ours has several, and we have the special ed teacher come out, speech and occupational therapists, all vist the school, and all work together for the good of the child.....it's great! I"m glad I didn't have to pull my child out and put her somewhere she would be unfamiliar with. FOr her, change is hard, she attends where I work(i don't teach but work on the Sunday preschool team) and i like having her where i work. and wehre she's been since birth.

You know, having thought about this a couple days, the more I think about it, the more the "no going outside to play" seems like an *incredibly* inappropriate response to the problem. I was trained to use the 3 R's for a consequence: Related, Respectful, and Reasonable. This is none of those things. There's nothing related, it's not reasonable, not respectful. I mean, it's so inappropriate as to seem downright immature -- you know? That's the word that popped into my head to describe it. Plus, as many others pointed out, it's not smart either, lol, as she needs exercise, all kids do. All this is before one considers that she has attachment issues, and trauma issues (which are driving the attachment), and *needs* to be parented/disciplined in a different manner.I do totally concur to get the therapist involved in trying to explain to the director why this is *not* appropriate, or to move her to a different daycare. They need to understand she isn't *choosing* to do this, it's the way she is, for good reason. I had a little guy who *always* took 45 minutes to fall asleep. For 18 months. Unless I was holding him on my body... something daycare can't do. For them to suggest she sit for *2 hours* quietly while not asleep... find another child that age who can do that.I also noted you said, "And yet, every day I come to pick her up only to find her sitting alone with a teacher because she's been disruptive (talking, singing) at nap." Hm. They seem to have the staff to punish and isolate her from a fun BD party... but not during nap? Interesting.My 18-month guy, 3.5, going to a *therapeutic* day care thought to be the cat's PJs by the state, they couldn't get him to nap or be quiet. Same thing, he kept escalating, violent with the teachers, children and room. I told them no way was he going to sleep in less than 45 mins -- naps were an hour. I got books on CD from the library, a player and headphones for him. He had pages to turn, something interesting to listen to. That did the trick. I rotated the books so he didn't have them too long, or it wouldn't have worked. I liked the suggestion of her possibly going to another classroom as well, if the school will go for it.