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Everything being "mine" is a preschool thing, but in kids that have some underlying issues it seems that what might be a simple milestone in emotional develop turns into an extreme reaction. I know you're sort of boxed in where you live without the benefit of up to date medical/psychological specialist to visit. I wish I knew of anything to help you help your kids and yourself. (((hugs))) I know you have said before that your DH is reluctant to move to the States. Maybe it's time to revisit that discussion based on the welfare of you and your children.