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We have 3 kidlets through adoption. We have a very open relationship with our oldest sons birthfamily, a semi open (birthmom contacts us for updates via email maybe once a year but we have traded contact information) and a closed (we have each others contact information) due to drug use and incarceration issues. So all across the spectrum. You can private message me if you want to talk about my experiences with the 3. Our kids are 9, 5 and 4. gina.