Advertisements
Since I have no idea what is going on in your marriage I can't really offer too much advice just my 2 cents. After only 3 months your husband may still have no idea how to be a father. He may not even love the kids yet, doesn't mean he won't love them someday. Maybe some counseling, parenting classes or books could help him. Please talk to your husband and be completely honest with him before you call the CW.
Like
Share
Advertisements
I can't say much more except that it should not be hard to place a 3 and 5 yo. I am sorry that you and the children are going through this.On the other hand, it has only been three months. Adjusting to two new kids, those ages, with potential behaviors from disruptions, that can be hard on anyone. When I got my girls, they were almost same age. Monkey was 2.5. Three months into it, I was still back and forth on disrupting the foster placement, and I knew at that time they weren't staying.I think you need to have a serious talk and or counseling with your husband and if he isn't in it to win it, finding another home for those children will be potentially in their best interest. I note that you haven't indicated if you could financially support them as a single parent? Do you work now? Do they go to daycare?
I understand your position. I have been doing foster care since July 2011, and filed for divorce in August 2012. Seeing my soon to be ex-husband around children (on a regular basis, not short term) made me realize that he was not the type of person I could spend the rest of my life (or have a family) with. He too was easily frustrated and short with the children in our home, a bad combination, especially when working with special needs children. My STB ex finally admitted to me in March 2012 that he was unable to have bio children and didn't want to raise "someone else's screw ups." That was it for me. I cannot imagine my life without children. March 1, 2012 I was placed with Princess and HG, and he walked out on us March 9th. I received a call from the Greyhound station saying I was on my own and to send divorce papers to his mother's house. Yes, a phone call. No face to face goodbye; not even after almost 4 years together. I waited to see if he was coming back. Nothing. For the first month or so, I made excuses to everyone (including my agency) out of shame and embarrassment. "He is visiting family back East." "He's on vacation." Finally I told my LW that I didn't think he was coming back. Like I said, I finally filed for divorce in August. The girls eventually quit asking where he was, and I went about my new life as a single mother. The girls were not disrupted, because I showed stability and at the time was willing to consider adoption in the future. I did eventually disrupt for my own reasons, but it was my choice. My agency has stood by my decision to divorce from the start, and continue to do so. My divorce should be final in January, and I plan on continuing my journey to adopt. Do what you feel is right for the children and yourself. It can go both ways. ~SINGLE, STRONG, INDEPENDENT, MOTHER~
Have you considered marriage counseling? Before my husband and I got married we went through a major separation and it was devestating, but it wasnt worse than the behaviors he exhibited which caused the separation. As a result, we got into couples counseling and it changed everything. I highly recommend the book The Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman.
Advertisements
roknrolr
They are 3 and 5 years old. They have been with us for a little over 3 months. I realize that that is not a long time, but in that short amount of time, we have come a long way. When we first got them neither one of them were potty trained, now the 5 year old is fully potty trained and the 3 year old is almost there. The five year old has stopped referring to her previous foster mother as her old mom, and now refers to her by her name, with no coaxing from me or my husband at all. She does not have nearly as many angry outbursts or temper tantrums as she used to... I could go on, but the most important things I can't put into words, it's just feelings. I'm sure you all know what I mean, having been through it yourselves.
Thank you very much Priest manuka. i never thought any thing could make my husband come back to me as his wife again, after he broke up with me and left to settle down with another woman who never Knew how we both suffered and share feelings together, thank God today i was lucky to see this great spell caster on a site after seeing a lots of testimony and good work he have done in the lives of people helping them to get their ex husbands and wives renewing their relationship i was convinced and i contacted him and just in 7 days after the spell was caste my beloved husband came looking for me and right now we are together again and he is taking care of me and the little kids as his responsibilities and family. Once again thank you here are his contact to reach him. lovesolutiontemple1@gmail.com or priestmanuka@yahoo.com