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ae2007
The problem was that her husband had signed the birth certificate and took the responsibilities of being his father. So out of respect for them, he never pursued a relationship with the child.
Three years later at the age of 5, I found out that she had divorced her husband and so we started communicating about the child and she was all for us developing a relationship with him. She had told me though that her ex husband had custody of him until she got on her feet (she struggled with alcohol and drug addiction). Then about 6 months later, which was about a month and a half ago, she came forward and told me that the state had taken him and she was given a certain amount of time to get on her feet and had failed to do so, so she was losing custody of him permanently. Her ex husband had also signed over his rights as he was not the biological father, which he had known as long as we had known, if not longer.
My question is, do we have a chance of gaining custody since my fianc is the biological father? The only reason he never attempted a relationship with the child was because he was respecting the other man who had signed the birth certificate, and also she didn't really give the opportunity for him to have a relationship since she was married to the other man. She told me a few days ago that the adoption is supposed to be finalized two weeks before Christmas. She says his foster parents will allow us to go visit, but we were wanting more. He is currently in work release so he does not have the opportunity to go to the court hearing, and he will more than likely have to establish paternity for anything to be done. Does he have rights as the biological father even though he was not the one on the birth certificate? Shouldn't he have to consent before the adoption can be finalized so that he can state that he would like custody? We were never notified that he was even in state custody until recently, and I have no idea how long he has been there since she never told us. We are at a loss on what to do to get our boy! Please help and let me know if we have a chance. Thanks!
In my opinion--
Your husband was never the legal father. He does not have to consent to the adoption. Additionally, it's very last minute for you to intervene, the adoption is happening any day now, right?
From your description, the foster home is the first stable home your child has ever experienced. Do you really think it's in the child's best interests to move to you, people he has never met?
Interesting on this site, foster parents that are bonded to their foster children are supported in their attempts/desire to adopt their foster children. Yet, this man, who is in work release for a reason (we don't know what) is being encouraged to seek custody of this child. A man who has no relationship with the child, and was willing to forgo a relationship for all these years. It doesn't matter why to the child, the child does not know these people.
If the foster family is willing to have an open adoption, I am in favor of allowing the adoption to go forward. It's too little, too late.