Identity and Birthparents

My sons are now almost 18 and almost 17. Their birth father is in prison until they are in their 30s. We had a lot more information about their birth mom when they were younger, and they really, really wanted info on their birth father. When I finally convinced him to communicate with us - I will say that the boys have appreciated it more. He is more "real" than their birth mother and more communicative. They identify with him (and it was a struggle for one son around age 15) but not in a criminal sense. We have talked lots about the positives they get from their birth father -- and how his choices were a direct result of the failures of his parents, his community and poverty, lack of education and no examples in his own life. We talk lots and lots about choices and consequences -- and I really do think they have been able to separate the choices from the man. Honestly, from the perspective of a teenager -- something that happened when they were a baby may as well have happened on Mars for how much they consider it relevant. My sons were basically tortured by their birth parents when they were infants and it really, really doesn't relate to how they feel about them or think of them today. Something that a birth parent has done to someone else (especially someone they can demonize - like a drug dealer or a gang banger) will probably not affect their opinion of their birth parent either way.