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Thread: Heavey Heart
I have felt many of those types of things for our daughter's bmom but not to the level you describe. We talked numerous times during her pregnancy and a few times since birth. I cried with her in the hospital. I know some people think the birth and placement is a time of great joy. For me, I was overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions. I felt so sad for her loss and for our daughter's loss. I couldn't believe that this little baby was coming home with us. I loved her immediately but caught myself referring to her mom numerous times. I got a lot of funny looks from those not in adoption. Over the last 3 months, I've come to see our daughter as just that. Meaning she is my husband and I's daughter but she's also her bparents daughter. I love her beyond belief and I find myself worrying about her bparents. Due to their circumstances contact is sporadic. They don't always have the ability to call or get email.
I think it's good to be empathetic and understanding. It's certainly an emotional time. I've never been able to get excited about this adoption like family and friends have because I see the loss and destruction of a family and what is at best an imperfect solution for a family in crisis.