I just don't know where to turn next!!!

Have you considered PTSD? Your son sounds exactly like mine. My son has been diagnosed with ADHD and ODD in the past. I finally took him to get trauma specific therapy and the intake worker said that his symptoms sound more like PTSD than anything else. His psychiatrist and psychologist both agreed. His psychiatrist said that in MOST kids, but not all, ADHD medications will not work with PTSD, and chances are, they will bring out more anger and aggression. She said that sometimes they will put them on antidepressants instead. She had said that PTSD has the same symptoms as ADHD in children. He has his second appointment with the doctor this Wednesday. He has been seeing his new therapist for about a month now. I have seen a slight change in his behavior. Although, he had revealed to me just a couple months ago that his father molested him. So, his anger has been on a rollercoaster ride. I would check into PTSD though.