I just don't know where to turn next!!!

I just wanted to report back how well my son is doing. He was put on a very low dose of Abilify and I also took the Love and Logic classes. I have been putting the L&L techniques to use and much to my surprise, they work!! The main thing that has been working is the technique where you sympathize with them using only one liners (such as "I know", "that's a bummer", "man that sucks"). I have to watch what my son eats because he is on the heavy side and the medication can cause weight gain. He constantly wants to eat, so I stock up on healthy snacks. I do buy some junk food, but I limit it. Well, shortly after taking the first session, he wanted junk food after not eating all of his dinner. So, I told him that there were leftovers of his dinner that he didn't eat, or he could have a piece of fruit or vegetable. He got angry and told me that he didn't want that. I just looked at him with a very concerning look and said, "I know." Then I went back to doing what I was doing. His level of anger was rising and he was saying things like I was starving him, he was going to die of starvation, and such; but I just kept sympathetically saying, "I know." He was getting really angry and I was thinking that it wasn't working. Then suddenly, he just stopped. No tears, no arguing, no more whining. He. Just. Stopped. I was incredibly amazed. Now, when he breaks the rules or disrespects me, I slump my shoulders, cock my head and with a very concerned voice, I say, "Oh man, that's so sad that you [whatever he did], because now I have to give you a consequence. I just hate giving you a consequence." And much to my surprise, he very rarely argues with me. As a matter or fact, when I just say "oh man!" he immediately apologizes!! Sometimes, rarely, but sometimes, when I give him a consequence, he will tell me that he's not going to do it. I just very calmly smile and say "that's OK. You have choices. You can choose not do it. Just remember, I have choices too!" Then he will say, "What, what are you going to do?" I will then say very softly and very sweetly, "Oh, sweetie, try not to worry about that. Just remember, we all have choices." At this point, he will sit and stare at me for a very short while, then he will do what I asked him to do. Another thing that has made him feel special around the house is that I am giving him more choices about every day things. I will give him an either or choice. Both choices are things that I can live with, but he chooses which one. They are small things, like which movie are we going to watch, what are we having for dinner, what restaurant should we go to. So, I decide two things that I want, but let him decide which of the two. I am secretly making the decision, but he thinks that he is. It really makes him feel important. I will say that the atmosphere around my house is so much better. The yelling has subsided, my blood pressure surely has gone down. I feel so much more calm. I honestly cannot remember the last time that I raised my voice to him. We did try taking him off his medication, after a couple of weeks, HE told his therapist that he needed to go back on them and that he wasn't ready to stop!! One other thing that I've been doing with him is when he does something exceptional, or out of the ordinary, I will give him a reward. I will write down a couple of rewards on paper, fold them up, and let him choose. They are small like going to bed a little later, having a candy bar, or picking a movie for the weekend. It's small rewards like this, that show him how doing well pays off. I would really recommend the Love and Logic. I was skeptical, but man oh man, it's wonderful!!