HELP! very jealous 2 year old

One thing to also think about is that time outs may actually be exacerbating the problem. Time outs, except when used as a time to calm down, are behavior moderating because they deny the child relationship time with the parent. It's one of the big reasons that many parents who are focusing on attachment don't use them. Even with a securely attached child, if he is feeling anxiety because he is losing time with you, or possibly feeling replaced by his cousins, time outs could serve as one more indication to him that he in fact can lose your love or relationship (of course that's not true, but feelings and true so rarely hang out together...) Children's behavior is communication. If looked at through that lens, what might he be telling you about how he is feeling, and how might you meet those needs? It's not that his behavior is okay, of course it's not, but it sounds like punishment isn't working and it's probably because he feels so intensely there isn't a consequence that is painful enough that will cause him to stop his behavior. It's also possible - wait, he's not quite 3 yet, right? I would say it's very probable that in the moment of his intense feeling he has no access to the rational part of his brain that tells him there will be a consequence. If you are a reader there are some very good books (both adoption and non adoption related) that I found really helpful. Mary Sheedy Kurchinka has several that are good and I also really like Becky Bailey's "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline. I also really like Karyn Purvis' work - her website is very good. My very challenging dd is now almost 8 and I can testify to the power of non punitive, non consequence based parenting. There are the occasional life consequences that happen for which I offer lots of genuine empathy and stand with her while she lives through them, but all in all, figuring out her needs and helping her manage what she is feeling has worked really well for my very intense kiddo. She's sick this week and is feeling crummy and it's showing up in some behavior. It's giving me a trip down memory lane. We have come a LONG way :) Good luck to you all!