I need help

In addition to annoying the heck out of your CW, your CW's suppervisor, and maybe even the next one, the counselor, the counselor's suppervisor?, also think about giving a call to your LW or someone else in the office you know and like. I loved our LW, and have come to find all of them are very nice and helpful. Ours seem to have more years of experience. Also, I would look for a babysitter (or two) one day a week. This is for you. It is amazing what a couple hours of quiet time can do for you. It took me a couple hours at first for my BP to go down. An hour or two of babysitting would not have been enough. None of the kids were in school at first, which made it even harder on me. Even if you can't get a babysitter for all of them, even having two our of three gone for a while will make it seem so much easier. If you can, get up before the kids. This will give you some time in the morning to start off in quiet and get a head start on breakfast, meditate/quiet time, get dressed, etc. I think you are doing a great job so far. Having a schedule is a great thing. Once we added the "get dressed and beds made before breakfast" and "get ready for the day before you play" to ours, several regular arguments in the mornings were no longer arguments. They were things the kids had control over. If they respond to positive behavior charts, good. We have learned that we needed to adjust it somewhat since they couldn't wait very long for a response/reward. We have "dessert" twice a day. If you have good behavior you get "dessert". This may be yogurt, apple sauce, chocolate, cookies, a small piece of candy, a tic tac, etc. Basically anything we don't have normally. As long as we call it "dessert" they go for it. If dinner gets thrown then I may give that child one thing at a time. This would mean less to clean up for you, if it does get thrown, and less wasted food. How about paper plates and plastic ware so it doesn't get broken. So many meals not thrown = the privilege of "real" plates (plastic) and utensils. It may even be that this child gets PB&J, veggie sticks, etc. instead of the meal everyone else has. The reason, "if you throw you meal then you are showing me you can't handle having the privilege of nicer foods. To gain back the privilege of the food the rest of us are eating, your plate needs to not be thrown for X days/meals." Say this at the beginning of the meal, or even before, with a calm, very matter of fact voice. The ball is now in her court. You are giving nutritious foods, not denying meals, etc. Of course, I would send an email to your CW, or a letter to your CW and CW's sup. saying what you are doing, why, and how the kid can earn back having the same meal as everyone else. I also found that t.v. resulted in bad behaviors if given in the morning. That is reserved for after quiet/nap times, which are right after lunch. I get to choose the first movie then they each get a choice(we only have two kids) or one gets to choose then and one after supper. Of course, this didn't work at first as they wouldn't watch any t.v. I also enjoyed going outside with them, once they stopped running off from me. (That was something else we had to work on the first month or two.) The housework didn't get done, but everyone was getting into less trouble for the most part. Though I found these things work for us, they don't work for all kids. My nephew wouldn't respond to these same things because he isn't the same as my (foster) kids. It will take a bit of trial, but you will start to find things that work for you. Also, it may be that one kid will need to be moved or that you will have to learn to keep a particular kid with you all the time. It takes longer, but there are many things a kid can help you with or do near you. Color pictures, playdough, dust rag (they not only dust with these), cars, legos, books to read (ones you don't care if they get harmed, like from goodwill), etc. There have been times that being with me meant right beside me. Other times, it just means in the same room as me. You are the boss, you get to decide. Just try to be consistant. Being "fair" doesn't mean giving each kid the same thing, but giving each kid what they need. In all things, remember, you are the one in charge and you are not alone. We all really do understand. Keep coming back and asking questions.