Why the inconsistant contact?

Thanks for trying to understand. I have tried my best to do as they have asked and now the ball is in their court. I will at some point if there is an opening; try to put my feelings out there again....but I haven't got the courage right now. The wound is still quite raw. I have had my heart broken once too often I suppose. It tore me into pieces when my father didn't want to talk to me.