Why the inconsistant contact?

I would like to ask the adult adoptees on the forum why is there often inconsistent contact from adoptees to birth mothers in reunion? Can adoptees out there please help with some insights? I would like to understand more about why adoptees after reunion pull back and even start to treat birth mothers in what seems to be a dismissive way? I have read posts where adoptees are upset because they often have to initiate contact with birth parents. I would love my daughter to contact me more often but months pass and sometimes I feel that if I donҒt initiate contact she will just drift away. Once I did push for contact and she wrote me an angry email saying that our relationship does not need her constant and complete attention, as if I was a dog or something. This was after we had a warm reunion and seemed to have a lot in common. I understand that she has to deal with her amother who has made her feel guilty but the lady has now written to me so that is fixable. I helped her find her birth father but after she started to be in contact with him her attitude towards me became more dismissive. I feel I cant sustain in a relationship where I am not treated as an equal. How do I proceed to save this relationship? I donҒt feel as if I can just ask her because of her previous angry response. I have read many posts from adoptees saying they would love a close relationship with their birth mothers. I would like to be a positive influence and support in her life but she wont let me.