Attachment problems and foster kids

You said you are asking her to act like an adult to get adult responsibilities. I'm not sure I have any suggestions since my kids are so different with different issues, but it got me wondering how she would describe adults as acting? What would acting like an adult look like to her? Did the adults around her get their needs met by lying, stealing, tantruming, etc? If so, maybe she is acting like an adult (or her idea of how adults act). I don't know how you can solve that. It sounds like she's clinging for dear life to a negative example and lifestyle that is familiar to her, and she may have been taught to distrust people who live your lifestyle. I hope that you find a way to help her find her way onto a new and better path than the one she's clinging to now.